Defining Moments of My Life
FBI please disregard this entry!

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FBI please disregard this entry!
o7.14.o2 4:04 a.m.

I've been paranoid about writing because of the security breach. I figure if the wrong people have found this already then it doesn't matter what I say from here on out. Not that I ever cared to censor myself anyway. I've just had some problems with the authorities before and who knows what kind of watch lists I'm on.... I guess getting caught in high school with the correct instructions on how to make and detonate C-4 will cause that! It didn't even work! Not that I followed the instructions to the T or anything, but I didn't have a wok and I used the popcorn maker instead and thought that'd work. Maybe it was the blasting caps. I'm no pyro expert. I leave that shit up to my brother, lol. anyway not to sound too weird or anything I better switch topics. I'm starting another diary but its only for my mother. Things I wish I could say to her, things I SHOULD say to her but I never do. I usually don't get passed calling her a fucking whore before I end up slamming the phone down. oh whatever she says some pretty fucked up shit to me. and I think, seriously, after I blow my head off she'll be the only one jaded enough to question why. and she'll feel bad then hopefully. even though lawyers have told me that I could sue her for neglect and negligence, I cant hold her legally responsible for the abuse. I figure a lifelong guilt trip will do just as well and I'll leave the lawsuits for the others. who knows, I might just take the easy way out and shoot them all at thanksgiving dinner or something like that. I'd have my great reckoning, but then they wouldn't suffer. No amount of pain I could inflict on them would be enough, come close to what they made my life like. I need to read Sleepers again. Too bad I didn't have any District Attourneys or Mafia crime bosses on my side. and if there are any Mafia crime bosses reading this: I NEED A JOB!!! You wouldn't even have to pay me, I'll do assasinations for FREE!! OK, not for free, but for food and shelter. Or better yet, I'd work for dope, it's not like you guys dont got it or anything. And it'd be cheaper than the food and housing. C'mon whadya say? I'm a real good shot... and they'd never suspect a chick! Anche se non sono italiana, lo parlo bene. Ho delle persone in Brooklyn che farebbe il vouge per me. Far� niente lei me chiede. Morirei piuttosto di do delle informazioni alla polizia. Ho bisogno di un lavoro! (Per favore di ignorare qualunque errori grammaticali che ho fatto. � tardi, e non posso trovare il mio dizionario....)


Always remember to quit while you're ahead.

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About Me
I am a bipolar genius, child abuse & addiction survivor, who is now a single mother who works 70 hours a week and has had gastric-bypass weight loss surgery a year ago. Wish me luck cuz I need it!!!

Examples of My Insanity
Dead On Mental Health Quiz
Tuna Noodle Casserole Story
Explaining Myselves
Biting Off Redneck's Finger
Got So Crazy Scratched Til I Bled
How I Found Nirvana
Leaving Lon After 7 Years
Bad Luck On 3 July 4ths
Random Craziness (FBI Please Disregard)
How I Ended Up A Junky
Almost Getting Raped by a Marine
Typical Weekend in Ohio
How Cobain Saved My Life


How long could we maintain? I wondered. How long until one of us starts raving and jabbering at this boy? What will he think then? This same lonely desert was the last known home of the Manson family; will he make that grim connection when my attorney starts screaming about bats and huge manta rays coming down on the car? If so, well, we'll just have to cut his head off and bury him somewhere, 'cause it goes without saying that we can't turn him loose. He'd report us at once to some kind of outback Nazi law enforcement agency and they'll run us down like dogs. Jesus, did I say that? Or just think it? Was I talking? Did they hear me?


AFTER


WHAT'S MY NAME?!?