Defining Moments of My Life
typical weekend trip back to ohio

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typical weekend trip back to ohio
o5.2o.o2 11:11 a.m.

I finally got my medicaid card and I need to call and set up an appointment to get my meds. I only want the anti-depressant. I've been low since wednesday and I cant remember if the depression kicked in before then. I know I havent gotten any drawing done in about a week. oh man Columbus was so fucked up so many weird things happened. They're tearing down all the cool, small (poor people's) businesses to make way for a little plaza-type mall and big name stores. that's why my favorite place in the whole world "Insomnia" got the boot, well the building insoms is in was supposed to be demolished and rebuilt into ritzy apartments that were supposed to be done sept of 2001.... they still havent done anything with them yet but nearly every other building has been destroyed. high street looked like a fucking war zone and then seeing all the normal kids... none of the freaks are around anymore, kinda sad. before I checked my email at OSU, my old junkie friend Kyle's ex girlfriend Sasha ran into me. she was the one that told him she was over 18, showed him her fake ID and she turned out to be a 16 yr old runaway that he ended up getting hooked... so she's been away from him and is all clean yet wants to know if I have dirty's new number so I lied and said no. then the neighbors said that Lori (another old junkie friend) had stopped by we drove by her boyfriend jay's place but I didnt see her car so I didnt stop and then one night we were at our apartment like in the process of shooting up and a cop was banging on the door for five minutes and then left his card. I still need to see what the hell I got caught doing now.... I really dont want to know. but that situation was pretty scary yet exciting.... Then saturday we stopped by my brother preston's friend's house to tell them more about this weekend's party/campout thingy. lon wanted to get some smoke for the ride back to NY and we only had $10 to spare so they didnt have any, tried to find some but no luck, then Bevin (prett's other friend) shows up with some well dressed black guy named Brendan I have no idea where he came from or whatever but we asked Bev if she had any to sell and Brendan was like I got some in the car how much you need... "a dime" "oh just $10 worth sure I can do that..." he's gone for like half a fucking hour we're all thinking he had to go get it from someone or something and then he comes back in with this HUGE bag like a quarter, about $50 worth and Lon's like dude I said I only got $10 and Brendan was like "I know, take it...." so no more arguments there. guy must have a decent hook up like we used to. although I met a dude at denny's who claims he can get qp's in rochester for $225 maybe somethign will come out of that. so anyway ohio was fucked up oh the one store that always cashes lon's checks wouldnt that day for some reason and then we bought what we could like cat food and litter and then kool aid was on sale so we got too much of that didnt have enough money and the check out lady was from africa or something and didnt understand that we wanted to take off something but yet when I was going through the store adding as we shopped we should have had enough money so I'm trying to look at the receipt and lon's freaking out and he calls me a dumb bitch and the check out lady thought he was calling her a dumb bitch and she starts crying "I only juss come to Merica! I new here-ah and I do not apper-see-ate being called dumb bitch!!" I didnt even hear Lon call ME a dumb bitch so I think lon really did call this woman a dumb bitch.... see it's funny now... but not when the assistant manager had to come over and then they took off ALL the kool aid so we had to go back later to get it after we'd cashed the check and the same two women were there.... so anyway we were high most of the time for 4 days but had no withdrawl, not even the smallest symptoms which is quite odd cuz even when I've done it once I've at least gotten hot flashes a day or two later. I wanna stear clear of it the weekend coming up but I doubt that'll happen. I've got this pattern goin where if I'm in columbus, I'm using. My brother is supposed to be getting a whole vile of acid so if that happens which it never does (by the way acid is like some mythical substance in central ohio you always "just missed it" or you hunt forever and its water) but IF we get that then MAYBE I'll be ok and not feel like I need to use but I'll prolly just end up doin both....


Always remember to quit while you're ahead.

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About Me
I am a bipolar genius, child abuse & addiction survivor, who is now a single mother who works 70 hours a week and has had gastric-bypass weight loss surgery a year ago. Wish me luck cuz I need it!!!

Examples of My Insanity
Dead On Mental Health Quiz
Tuna Noodle Casserole Story
Explaining Myselves
Biting Off Redneck's Finger
Got So Crazy Scratched Til I Bled
How I Found Nirvana
Leaving Lon After 7 Years
Bad Luck On 3 July 4ths
Random Craziness (FBI Please Disregard)
How I Ended Up A Junky
Almost Getting Raped by a Marine
Typical Weekend in Ohio
How Cobain Saved My Life


How long could we maintain? I wondered. How long until one of us starts raving and jabbering at this boy? What will he think then? This same lonely desert was the last known home of the Manson family; will he make that grim connection when my attorney starts screaming about bats and huge manta rays coming down on the car? If so, well, we'll just have to cut his head off and bury him somewhere, 'cause it goes without saying that we can't turn him loose. He'd report us at once to some kind of outback Nazi law enforcement agency and they'll run us down like dogs. Jesus, did I say that? Or just think it? Was I talking? Did they hear me?


AFTER


WHAT'S MY NAME?!?