**REGISTER TO VOTE ONLINE!** **SIGN DARFUR ACTION PETITION HERE!!**

---

so I'm done with the southern comfort, a new bottle, if you're counting. Thats the third bottle of whiskey in a week, besides the shots of rum and wine coolers and just plain ole wine I drank last weekend. I needed a boost because I broke down and ate something today and for SOME reason my insides are sore, so I got drunk real fast doin shots. in a goldschlagger shot glass. Lon once CHUGGED a bottle of that shit on a dare, I asked him how much money he got from doing it and he said "nothing, it was a five dollar bet but he never paid me. yeah Lon can be pretty OK sometimes. It's those other times that I end up remembering though. Like those lines in The Who's "Behind Blue Eyes", I relate to the whole song but especially this part: "when my fist clenches crack it open before I use it to lose my cool, tell me some sad news before I laugh and act like a fool, and if I swallow anything evil put your fingers down my throat and if I shiver please give me a blanket keep me warm let me wear your coat" Lon takes care of all those basic needs for me, sometimes maybe more, sometimes not anymore.

I finally got my paycheck cashed and I got about $210 in my pocket, which in bags translates to death. Maybe a death I wont come back from. I'm almost out of cloves. I'm definitely out of whiskey. I'm wondering how long it would take to drain my body of enough blood to kill me, using syringes.... I figure I probably wouldnt be able to hit enough times. Unless I rig somesort of hose, and suck all my blood out. I dont have the attention span for such nonsense. I locked myself in the bathroom earlier, with the bottle and the shot glass and my dissection kit from anatomy class and Lon asked what i was doin, what I;d taken in there with me, and I said "sex toys" reffering to the dissection kit, and I was laughing maniacally but Lon didnt seem to get the joke. He never does. Right now he's telling me about the time some kid flipped a car into a pool, and about the firsttime he heard appetite for destruction. I'm not sure if it was the same night, but GNR would definitely make me want to flip my car into a swimming pool. "I used to do a little but a little wouldnt do it so the little got more n more".... Sometimes I think everyone int he world is either already a junkie, or a junkie waiting to happen. Anyway, we're all junkies of *something*. Some of us lucky ones are junkies of *everything*. Me? I'm just lonely.

Always remember to quit while you're ahead.

last :: next