Defining Moments of My Life
peel me off this velcro seat and get me movin

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peel me off this velcro seat and get me movin
08.27.02 7:58 a.m.

so they found the remains fo both those girls from Oregon. it fucks with me somewhat, I just read that article today so the news is late but right on time to fuck with me... last night my aunt had a birthday party for my great-uncle Bill and seeing he's old AND blind it would have been especially rude not to attend. It started at 5:30, thats when pizza was served. When I got there a little after 6 (I start work at 7 so I planned to get there, grab some grub n go...) the only pizza that was left was shit I couldnt eat and Im pretty sure most people there know I cant have those toppings... so it was pretty fucked up, then my cousin was there of course and things are really fucking weird now cuz my mom talked to my aunt and I dont know how she could have worded it other than "hey my daughter says your son molested her..." and then I guess they talked to him or some fucking thing I dont know but basically everyone stopped talking and stared at me the whole time and then tried to compliment my fucked up hair cut and how Ive managed to hold down a job for two days.... and the cousin just kinda laughed while all this was going on. He was sitting next to the great-uncle and my mom kept bugging me about giving him a kiss or something, at least saying hello (he's blind n all) so when I did that I had to get in close to the cousin... he sorta laughed then too... I wanted to run, just get in my car and drive until it broke down or ran out of gas, which wouldnt be far enough Im sure.... I've gotta get away... "gotta find a way, a better way, way to live" (thats what kurt's really saying btw)

to bring this all back to the Oregon girls... I wish I was afforded the luxury of being underneath a cement slab, that after however many years of being a grade school whore that I was at least put to rest in some safe place, like the ground.... dont get me wrong, I'm sorry that they're dead. They had families that care about them I'm sure, they would have gotten love and support and doctors and counselors etc... they wouldnt have turned out to be a monster like me....


Always remember to quit while you're ahead.

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About Me
I am a bipolar genius, child abuse & addiction survivor, who is now a single mother who works 70 hours a week and has had gastric-bypass weight loss surgery a year ago. Wish me luck cuz I need it!!!

Examples of My Insanity
Dead On Mental Health Quiz
Tuna Noodle Casserole Story
Explaining Myselves
Biting Off Redneck's Finger
Got So Crazy Scratched Til I Bled
How I Found Nirvana
Leaving Lon After 7 Years
Bad Luck On 3 July 4ths
Random Craziness (FBI Please Disregard)
How I Ended Up A Junky
Almost Getting Raped by a Marine
Typical Weekend in Ohio
How Cobain Saved My Life


How long could we maintain? I wondered. How long until one of us starts raving and jabbering at this boy? What will he think then? This same lonely desert was the last known home of the Manson family; will he make that grim connection when my attorney starts screaming about bats and huge manta rays coming down on the car? If so, well, we'll just have to cut his head off and bury him somewhere, 'cause it goes without saying that we can't turn him loose. He'd report us at once to some kind of outback Nazi law enforcement agency and they'll run us down like dogs. Jesus, did I say that? Or just think it? Was I talking? Did they hear me?


AFTER


WHAT'S MY NAME?!?