Defining Moments of My Life
all this conversation aint satisfactioning me

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all this conversation aint satisfactioning me
08.31.02 8:28 a.m.

Counting Crows "Anna Begins"

My friend assures me "it's all or nothing", I am not worried- I am not overly concerned. My friend implores me "for one time only, make an exception." I am not not worried Wrap her up in a package of lies. Send her off to a coconut island. I am not worried - I am not overly concerned with the status of my emotions "Oh", She says, "were changing." But were always changing... and it does not bother me to say this isn't love. Because if you don't want to talk about it then it isn't love, and I guess I'm going to have to live that but, I'm sure there's something in a shade of gray or something in between and I can always change my name if that's what you mean. My friend assures me "it's all or nothing" But I am not really worried I am not overly concerned. You try to tell your self the things you try tell your self to make yourself forget to make your self forget. I am not worried "If it's love" she said, "then were gonna have to think about the consequences" She can't stop shaking and I can t stop touching her and..... This time when kindness falls like rain it washes her away and Anna begins to change her mind "theese seconds when I'm shaking leave me shuddering for days" she says. And I'm not ready for this sort of thing. But I'm not gonna break and I'm not going to worry about it anymore. I'm not gonna bend. And I'm not gonna break and I'm not gonna worry about it anymore. It seems like I should say "as long as this is love..." But it's not all that easy so maybe I should just snap her up in a butterfly net, pin her down on a photograph album. I am not worried, I've done this sort of thing before.... But then I start to think about the consequences, and I don't get no sleep in a quiet room and... this time when kindness falls like rain it washes me away and Anna begins change my mind and every time she sneezes I believe it's love and oh lord.... I'm not ready for this sort of thing. She's talking in her sleep-it s keeping me awake and Anna begins to toss and turn and every word is nonsense but I understand and and oh lord I m not ready for this sort of thing. Her kindness bangs a gong It's moving me along and Anna begins to fade away. It's chasing me away. She dissappears, and oh lord I'm not ready for this sort of thing.


Always remember to quit while you're ahead.

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About Me
I am a bipolar genius, child abuse & addiction survivor, who is now a single mother who works 70 hours a week and has had gastric-bypass weight loss surgery a year ago. Wish me luck cuz I need it!!!

Examples of My Insanity
Dead On Mental Health Quiz
Tuna Noodle Casserole Story
Explaining Myselves
Biting Off Redneck's Finger
Got So Crazy Scratched Til I Bled
How I Found Nirvana
Leaving Lon After 7 Years
Bad Luck On 3 July 4ths
Random Craziness (FBI Please Disregard)
How I Ended Up A Junky
Almost Getting Raped by a Marine
Typical Weekend in Ohio
How Cobain Saved My Life


How long could we maintain? I wondered. How long until one of us starts raving and jabbering at this boy? What will he think then? This same lonely desert was the last known home of the Manson family; will he make that grim connection when my attorney starts screaming about bats and huge manta rays coming down on the car? If so, well, we'll just have to cut his head off and bury him somewhere, 'cause it goes without saying that we can't turn him loose. He'd report us at once to some kind of outback Nazi law enforcement agency and they'll run us down like dogs. Jesus, did I say that? Or just think it? Was I talking? Did they hear me?


AFTER


WHAT'S MY NAME?!?