Defining Moments of My Life

You Have a Hooker Ass!

Watch out honey!

Your ass can make money.

If you want to score a couple bills,

Offer it up and take some pain pills.

What Ass Do *You* Have??

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Your Sex Life's Above Average!

You're sex life is good, but you're no ho,

It takes a while before you're ready to go.

You have more sex than the average joe.

You aren't really fast, but you sure aren't slow.

How Does *Your* Sex Life Compare?

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You Have a Tasty Nipple!

Your nipple tastes... great!

(Just like CHICKEN)

What Nipple Do You Have?

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Your Inner Blonde is Britney Spears

"Whee! I'm a virgin. Look at my butt crack!"

If everyone were as dumb as you, you'd be able to pull that one off.

But, you do get props for being one of the richest women around!

Who's *Your* Inner Dumb Blonde? Click Here to Find Out!

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Arms and legs a-flail' and akimbo (put yourself in a child, by God), you are the Hardcore Fucktard. You fist the air. You attempt to sodomize twelve year-old slappers. You like Bauhaus and Motorhead and fist the air appropriately in sync. You're an intellectual bisexual. Of course.

Total badass! Woah you're a badass, in my opinion. You think what you want to think,and you act as your own person. No one bosses you around.. The outside world could just go to hell if you had your way. Now stand up and scream "fuck off" to those lamers who need guidance through life.

what's that grampa simpson quote? "Mr. Simpson, is your son a communist?" "My son may be a drunk and a pervert and a communist, but he is definitely NOT a homosexual!!"

".:.Could you be my boyfriend?.:." - Results: Youre most likely the perfect guy for me!

If I married David Bowie's son, we'd be Joey and Zoey Bowie, AND David Bowie would be my father-in-law!!!

you are going to kill yourself fairly soon, it seems. paste this code in your livejournal as a cry for help.

You are a very sexual person. You and your patner enjoy the act of lovemaking and being intimate with each other. There is a mental attachment to your sexual nature. You enjoy words, lyric, sounds, and tone. The velvety voice of a lover is a heady stimulant. There is much talking and verbal response during the entire sexual encounter and the closeness of intimate conversation after making love. Romantic interludes can be playful and exciting at times, and result in extreme closeness. You are intuned with your partners wants and needs and are not afraid to explore your sexual horizons. Any partner you choose will be pleased in ways unimaginable.

Sorry, you are not a Patriotic American, but you're probably better for it, cause the rest of the world wants to kill you anyway. You are most likely NOT white, Republican or Protestant Christian, and therefore you have no right to be within these borders. For all we know, you're a freeloading, draft dodging, womanizing, liberal liar, and we don't need those kinds of people in this country. You may or may not love your country, but you do not hold back when questioning it's decisions, so you are a member of the axis of evil and you wish to burn America to the ground or trade it to the Chinese for some electronics. Come on, don't deny it. You think the flag is ok, but nothing to be worshipped as if it was America itself, cause you worship silly things like "freedom" and "compassion." Silly rabbit. You believe that the world is comprised of more than just America, and everyone deserves a chance, even the poor, destitutes who maybe made some bd decisions in their life and are paying dearly for them. But that doesn't make you a true Patriot, sorry. Now go back to McDonald's and make my dead cow. And don't spit in it, I'm watching you.

You are addicted to MARIJUANA! You are the "sit back and watch everything" type. You could describe yourself as lazy and unprovoked. You are amused by stupid things, but only when you are understanding what is going on around you! Half the time you are clueless, but that's okay. You're taking the easy ride through life, and hopefully you won't get caught on some speed bumps. Deep in your mind however, you are actually very creative and bright! You have the capacity to make a difference in the world if you put some effort into it.

yeah they didnt have very many outcomes... they had a category for NOTHING but not a category for ALL!!

You strike us as the kind of person who'd be satisfied with a million bucks, and wouldn't try to get any more out of it than a life of relaxation. While your fortune is in the bank earning interest, we can see you lying on some small island beach in the Pacific, ordering tropical fruit smoothie after tropical fruit smoothie. Sounds cool, just make sure you bring a LOT of magazines� the rest of your life is a really long time.

It's harder for some people to grow dreads, so this may or may not take a few ounces of effort on your part. Can you handle it? Do you need to take a nap first? The good news is, once you've got your hair dreaded up, you can almost forget it exists. Except when people start staring -- but we get the feeling you might not mind that so much.

In a way, the 1920s in the United States was kind of like a giant party. If you woke up in the '20s one day, you'd be one lucky duck. Some of the more important modern conveniences were in place (telephones, lightbulbs), to keep you sane. But you could still enjoy the way things looked and felt before everything around you was mass-produced. And we think you'd have had a good time with the spirit of the age, where social rules were being questioned all the time. Sure, the Charleston was a little dorky, but we bet you'd teach 'em some new moves� and they'd love it.

Buckle your seatbelt and hold on! Your sex drive is at full throttle in Overdrive. Your hormones are surging at full strength, and your interest in America's other national pastime is over the top.

The only thing you need to worry about (besides having an equally enthusiastic counterpart) is keeping up with yourself. If your mind is willing, you really don't want your body to slow you down, do you? And that means you should pay special attention to your health, fitness, and happiness.

A wholesome diet (plenty of water, a good dose of fiber every day, vitamins, minerals�the works) will keep that motor humming. And a smart exercise program, with stretches, strength-building, and cardio workouts, will boost your confidence, and polish that glow you already feel on the inside. Healthy changes will help you match your lust for life to your lust for, well, you know!

Come on out in the sun � in your former life you were an iguana named Gunter. Thanks to a biography written by your twin brother, Gilbert, we know a bit about you: Born on a small island to an iguana family of modest means, you met your destiny by unwittingly hopping a boat to the mainland. Quickly mastering the art of gambling, you proceeded to rob everyone you knew blind. Fortunately, iguanas care little for money, so no one was very upset. You used your winnings to build a spa for molting lizards, so they could find comfort while they shed their skins. Thanks to the spa, you became a prominent public citizen and lived the rest of your life indulging your fantasy of singing popular lizard tunes.

We don't want to make you mad, but...you're guilty of WRATH. Your answers reveal that you have a weakness for letting your temper loose a little too often. (Perhaps you're just in the wrong occupation � have you ever thought of becoming a postal worker? Managing a baseball team or being a professional wrestler are other possibilities for hot-tempered people like you.) Maybe you're suppressing some bitterness � if so, try to get to the bottom of it. There's definitely more to life than yelling at people and thinking of different ways to intimidate them. You might be able to release some of your pent-up anger by joining a gym. Or, go the other direction and buy some scented candles and give yoga a whirl. Next time you feel like exploding, fight to keep your temper under control and try to find a way to express yourself in a way that won't offend others.

Why is wrath so bad? Well, according to early religious scholars, wrath destroys kindness. They thought anger had to be regulated, lest it pervert the growth and well-being of the soul. Try to temper quick impatience with tolerance and compassion, especially since medieval Italian poet Dante Alighieri wrote that wrath, along with pride and envy, is one of the deadliest of the seven sins.

Bring on the next shindig � you're raring to go! As a Fish, you're the queen of the party animals, and you always make a big splash. Your fun-loving, easy-going personality makes you a natural at social gatherings. Without a doubt, you're the first to make a toast when they're handing out cold, frosty ones. Heck, if it's liquid, you're always willing to dive right in. Your stamina gives the guys a run for their money, and they love you for it � you're everyone's favorite party buddy. You may occasionally regret your festive nature the next day, but don't worry about it too much. As long as you're having fun, live it up!

Our global positioning device has got you pinpointed somewhere between glamorous and racy. You're the fast, flashy Sports Car. We're thinking a BMW or even a Porsche Boxster, with a luminous silver paint job. You are the prize earned after years of hard work and strife. Envy can be seen in the eyes of every passer-by. There's no greater satisfaction than watching their slack-jawed looks as you speed by, and feeling the power as you lightly press that pedal. And just like your zippy car, you love to get from one cool scene to the next at lightning speed. You truly represent life in the fast lane. People are enthralled with your slick lifestyle and fantasize about someday owning what you've got. Who could blame them? Your wheels have got all the options: world-class engines, a stereo to die for, climate controls, navigation tools, and an exterior so shiny they need sunglasses. You are made to drive the ultimate in automobiles.

Say what? Your superpower is ANIMAL COMMUNICATION! Many people pretend to talk to their pets, but you can really, truly do it. Have you ever mimicked the monkeys or the penguins at the zoo? If you have, you're on your way to becoming a great animal communicator, just like Aquaman with his fishy friends. Some people think animal communication has to be vocal. Not so. Any superhero knows that mental telepathy is where it's at. So while barking at Fido might be fun, it's not the practice you really need. Instead, try thinking like an animal. When you get into the mindset of, say, a squirrel, you'll be able to truly communicate with one. Of course it's a two way street, because you'll be able to understand everything they say back, too. And they've got a lot to tell! Imagine talking to a walrus about the deep ocean or to an ant about life underground. Once you've perfected your superhuman gift, you'll never be without interesting conversation.

Aliases: Biggie, Mugsy, Vinny, Chunko, Bunto, Killer,Claws, The Predator, Meanie, Feathers

Description: Subject is known murderer, and has taste for the blood of birds and small rodents. Although known for rough behavior, subject always remains well groomed and wearing immaculately tailored coat. Fur may be illegally imported from Italy. Probably has scars. Runs catnip ring, and extorts cat food from others. May meow with slight Brooklyn accent. Prefers to stay in its own neighborhood, but strays into other areas at night. Fearless defender of the homestead from all invading squirrels or mice. Does not give a hoot about other cats, and will attack just for kicks. Good for a quick cuddle, but do not push this cat too far. Protective eyewear suggested. Ankle injury likely upon meeting subject. Has earned a degree in creative shredding of valuables. Loves gangster movies.

You're not overt about your sexuality, but you're not purposely hiding it either � two traits that naturally draw people to you. You possess an understated zest for life, and a way of approaching the day with a can-do attitude that draws people to you. As a teenager, were you maybe a little on the quiet side? Even if you weren't, it's clear that underneath your occasionally understated statements, you have an undeniable sweetness that attracts people who see that special something burning from within.

Is it the way you carry yourself? That quiet sparkle in your eye? Those who know you intimately can't wait to uncover your sweetness. What's hiding behind that innocent smile? A little devil perhaps? A tattoo in a seductive spot saved only for your lover? Possibly, but you're so good, you'll never tell. Or will you?

We don't need a psychic to tell us that you're giving off a Gold vibe. You couldn't ask for a better color � a glistening gold aura is as good as it gets. A lively blend of yellow and orange, gold people are happy, playful, energetic, sensitive, and generous. Always up for adventure, you'd give a friend in need the shirt off your back. You're spiritual, too � all those halos in old paintings aren't colored gold by coincidence. Almost childlike in the carefree, joyful way you live your life, you're popular and outgoing with your large circle of friends. Chances are you're so full of light and energy that you sometimes find it hard to sit still and chill out. Instead, you're constantly looking for excitement, no matter how risky or impulsive the occasion. Happy-go-lucky and always laughing, you truly are as good as gold.

You're a fun loving prankster, always with a joke up your sleeve. That's why your monster match is a ghost. Your bag has more tricks than treats, but you can take it as well as you can dish it out. You're a witty spirit who loves a good hoot, and echoing laughter like you'd hear in the halls of a haunted house. Part ghoul, part Beetlejuice, you are the ghost with the most, the phattest phantom, a real graveyard smash.

Whether you're going to a costume party or throwing your own BYOB s�ance (Bring Your own Ouija Board), you mingle with different social groups as if walking through walls. But you ghosts take care. You love getting a good behind-the-door scare almost as much as you love giving them, but those with bad tickers and tempers might not appreciate your spooky sense of humor. Use your inner poltergeist sparingly and you'll never have to worry about getting "busted."

No bones about it, you're a devil-may-care Irish Setter. Fun-loving and light-hearted, life is an adventure for you � an attitude your nearest and dearest find refreshing and inspiring. Witty, with a nose for fun, you can turn any social gathering into an unforgettable event, which is why you're always at the top of the guest list. Your varied interests � anything and everything from sky-diving to club hopping � make you extremely well-rounded. Just make sure you don't get distracted and lose sight of your responsibilities. As long as you stay balanced, you're a lucky dog who will always be a kid at heart � woof!

Who's that out way past her bedtime? You and your Sultry Look are no strangers to the nightlife. Chances are very good that you'll be caught wearing something that shows off your figure but still keeps 'em guessing. Decked out in dark mascara, deep ruby lipstick, and the most daring of dos, you're cutting loose and capable of causing the best kind of trouble. It's ladies like you who know how to take sexy right to the edge and back again. Like your celebrity soul sisters, Jennifer Lopez, Charlize Theron, and Catherine Zeta-Jones, you've got no problem showing off your assets for the crowd and letting them know just how beautiful you can be. After all, when you know how to work it, why not use it?

Cue Frank Sinatra singing "Love and Marriage" � your family is most like TV's favorite Married With Children underachievers, The Bundys. Your dad might not sit on the couch all day with his hand down his pants (or maybe he does...), and your mom might not prance around in tight pants and high heels, but Al, Peggy, Bud, and Kelly are still your family's TV soulmates. Which, frankly, might be enough to make you want to give up family get-togethers altogether. But blood, dysfunctional as it may be, is thicker than water, so try to look on the bright side of things: At least you'll never have difficulties living up to your family's expectations. And, really, home-cooked meals and quality time are over-rated, don't you think? So embrace your Bundyness! If you're a girl, make like Kelly and wear a skimpy outfit to go pick up guys; if you're a fella, pull a Bud and do your best to lure an unsuspecting lady into your web. But whatever you do, don't invite the weird neighbors over...

Wow, your inner rock star is Bjork. You've charmed the world with your beautiful, zany, personal style. To say you're a member of the alternative set would be a gross understatement. You and Bjork define alternative in its purest form. You've got nothing to prove, it's your remarkably creative point of view that lets you make art from anything�art, music, politics�whatever makes you passionate. It's just who you are. You've got the courage to experiment with your style and career, and all the while remaining positively sweet and humble. You are as much a free spirit as they come. Celebrate your inner Bjork.

The fiery confidence you normally keep under wraps blazes in your eyes every time your theme song turns on the table. People stand back and wait to be impressed by you� whether leading a project team, or firing up for a girls' night out. You mean business and people look to your leadership because you're so sure of yourself. So whether you're looking fine in the latest styles or throwing a bone to your 70's polyester double-knit blouse, this disco anthem always reminds you that you are true to yourself and are one of the lucky few who recognize that change starts first on the inside. Whether you're in your car, at a party, or on a date, you feel more resilient than John Travolta's acting career when your song comes throbbing through the speakers. Your friends dig you because you've learned to say what's on your mind. Life's too sweet to feel hurt and misunderstood. Yes indeed, with this as your theme song, you don't have to worry about surviving. You're well on your way to succeeding.

Start clearing out that extra room � sounds like you're going to need a nursery before too much longer. Because, despite a few lingering hesitations, it looks like you're almost ready to change your name to "Mommy." It's great that you recognize your concerns, though, whether you're worried about not knowing how to be a mom or just that you might not be quite ready to turn your life upside-down. If it's the latter � if you're afraid that you're not emotionally ready or aren't too keen on restructuring your lifestyle � then maybe it's a good idea to hold off for a bit. But try not to worry too much about the "not knowing what to do" part. As long as you've got maternal instincts � and a great support network � the rest will come naturally. No one knows exactly what to do until they've actually got the baby in their arms. To put it another way, try this quick "test": Does the thought of knowing all the words to the latest children's songs make you giddy? Do you browse through Baby Gap just to see how precious tiny jeans and sweaters can be? Does watching a toddler dance erase your stress and make you grin? If you answered "yes," you just might be ready to decorate a nursery and get busy in the bedroom!

Put simply, you're a nutball. We mean that in a good way, though � nutballs can be tons of fun. Whether it's a physical stunt or an emotional leap, you'll do and try anything at least once. Dancing on the bar (even when you're sober)? Sounds like fun. Telling someone you're in love on the first date? No big whoop, if that's how you feel. Heck, you love doing things other people think are goofy or off-the-wall, and you probably don't give a hoot if they laugh at you � as long as they're laughing, who cares why? Getting a reaction is what it's all about. Your devil-may-care attitude suggests that you have a strong yen for fun and excitement. Just remember to use your common sense and listen to the little voice inside your head (no, not that one) every so often. If you're just known as "that person who does all the loony things," you're likely to end up disappointed when people won't take you seriously in other situations. And while it's fine to feel both positive and negative emotions strongly, you can't let your feelings rule every aspect of your behavior. It's one thing to want to be honest and direct, but trust us, balance and moderation are good things. As long as you temper your no-holds-barred approach to life with occasional periods of sanity � and do your best not to get arrested � it's just fine to be crazy like a fox.

Well, you're kinda evil. They haven't reserved a place for you in Hell yet, but the leasing agents are starting their calls. (Sorry, no air conditioning.) We're guessing you find others' pain funny, your backstabbing knife is probably pretty sharp, and your sexual wiles have likely brought you enjoyment at the expense of your bunkmates a time or two. If more than one of those three things rings true, consider yourself a card-carrying evil person. If you're interested in recanting the evil thing, sensitivity counseling isn't a bad idea. Or else find a more sadistic career, like a bouncer or a metermaid. But hey, to each his own, and if your evilness fits, wear it. Keep reading for more evil details!

So, you have a healthy sex drive � good for you! No one likes a prude. In general, you give as well as you get, though everyone can get a little selfish under the covers, so don't beat yourself up about going for the big one on your birthday. And while you're at it, go ahead and admit it � you've probably flashed a big smile to get your way in the bedroom before. But for the most part, you strike us as a pretty generous lover who's doing well at keeping your raw, sexual power in check. Yeah, baby!

Yes, you're always smiling, but you hold grudges for years, repress your anger, and then blow up in conniving ways � you've got "postal worker" written all over you. If you want to stop the migraines, look into anger-management classes at the local Y. Passive-aggressive people are often very sympathetic, which is why they hide their anger. So take solace in knowing you're still coming off as kind-hearted, you sneaky, two-faced back-stabber.

Ooo hoo � you're one evil muther. Your heart is blacker than Darth Vader's helmet. For goodness' sake, next time think about that old lady's feelings before you push her down the escalator. And, really � you know as well as anyone that dropping kitties out the window to see if they can land on their feet is just an excuse to act evil. Yes, it's all part of being a free spirit who doesn't answer to anyone. Right or wrong, it's a fun way to live. But be careful � it all comes full-circle in the end.

Your personality is actually determined by two personality sub-types � your primary, or dominant sub-type, and your secondary sub-type. You are a Shark which means you are a Seeker / Success. Your primary sub-type is defined by "Seeker" characteristics and your secondary sub-type is defined by "Success" characteristics.

That means you've got a robust love of life and a killer instinct. Chances are you hate rules, and don't plan on getting old. You're flexible and friendly on top of being innovative and smart. In short, people respect you.

How do we know all this? How do we know you're extroverted and love being in the spotlight? Or that your mantra is "work hard, play hard"? How could we have divined that dull parties make you weep?

Because while you were taking the test, you answered four different types of questions � questions that measured confidence, apprehension, willingness to take risks, and your focus on experience versus appearance � the primary traits that determine your personality. Based on your responses, we determined your personality type, Shark.

The smoke clears to reveal that inside you is a divine being, PERSEPHONE, Goddess of the Night, a woman in touch with her deepest inner desires. As the most sexual of all the female deities, you are very comfortable in the bedroom. Your skill at pleasing a man is unmatched, and you know exactly what you need for your own pleasure. As a woman of passion, you're very comfortable with expressing your desires to anyone. You are a proud and confident woman who exudes sensuality. You cherish the intimacy of physical attraction and know what it takes to win a man. As a woman deeply in touch with your sexuality, you definitely know how to thoroughly enjoy yourself! Your polished bedroom performance always keeps them coming back for more. When everything is going right, a light shines down from the heavens. Behold, the skies proclaim, here lies a goddess!

you need to highlight the text in order to read it, unless like me, you're able to discern black from black....

40% - 50% (Aggressive)

Pissed off and not worried about showing it.
You're socially dysfunctional and ready to stand up for yourself.
Not the senseless psychopath you *could* be, but not prepared to take shit.

Take the DeathKiddy Test!

You Have a Hooker Ass!

Your Sex Life's Above Average!

You Have a Tasty Nipple!

Your Inner Blonde is Britney Spears

I'm a shy, sensitive punk rocker, the most artistic of them all. I'm Kurt Cobain! Click here to find out which Nirvana grunge rocker you are!

I'm a shy, sensitive punk rocker, the most artistic of them all. I'm Kurt Cobain!
Click here to find out which Nirvana grunge rocker you are!