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Lonley Man

Bobo went to the adult video store every week to unwind after work. He was a lonely man who spent his weekends hunting beavers around his apartment. Bobo wasn't looking for love that day, but in walked Lulu . Immediately he was taken by her babyshit green gym socks and her stanky-ass belly button .

Moving with the grace of an Anna Nicole Smith , Lulu sat down beneath a dildo in the corner.

His mind was racing. Perhaps Bobo would invite her to dinner at his place. He envisioned cooking her some spaghetti-os , drinking diet TAB and dancing happily to his Prince albums. He'd buy her motherfuckers every day, and they'd spend the weekends driving around Sheboygan in his pinto .

And with visions of this whirling in his head, Bobo sloppily approached her. Nervous, he didn't know what to say at first. But then it came out, "Hayyy baby, yoo want a date?"

Surprised, Lulu bitch-slapped his belly button and started to leave.

"Wait!" shouted Bobo , "I'm sorry, I just think you're violent . I think your belly button is really stanky-ass . And I was wondering you'd like to smack with me sometime."

Lulu turned around briefly. "Why would I want to smack with you?" But all Bobo could say was "What the fuck nigga!" .

Lulu left and Bobo was alone once again. He'd have to smack his llama tonight.

Always remember to quit while you're ahead.

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