Defining Moments of My Life
dreams

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dreams
02.18.03 1:12 a.m.

Been having my screwy dreams again. Friday morning I got to sleep in, I didnt have to work until 1pm so Eric drove himself to work then came to get me at lunchtime. I had a dream that he came home screaming my name and I got out of bed to see what was the matter and he was all sweaty like he'd just run a good while, and he was wet too like it was raining out, then he was blood splattered. I asked what was wrong but he didnt answer cuz he was busy catching his breath. Next thing I knew I was waking up still hearing Eric screaming my name. I came into the living room sure that I'd see him in here but the apartment was empty. I called him at work to make sure everything was alright. Then I told him to be careful driving.

Saturday I dreamed that I was on my way to an execution of a serial killer. I was getting there a few days early to interview him. Through the course of my time with him I end up falling in love with him. I thought he was cute before I met him, and I guess he must have had a personality to match. Right before he was to be executed I helped him escape. The dream jumps to the two of us holed up in a motel room. I'm trying to get him to fuck me but he's nervous and cant get it up. He has low self esteem and keeps asking me why I'd want to sleep with him anyway, and why I'd love him, why wasn't I afraid of him. I told him that he couldnt possibly rape me cuz I'm willing and that I didn't care if he killed me or not. He sort of understood what I was saying and said that my lack of fear was a turn off. He says he's never had sex with a willing woman before (serial rapist/murderer claiming virginity?). We sort of argue about this and I end up giving him a blow job. Figures.


Always remember to quit while you're ahead.

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About Me
I am a bipolar genius, child abuse & addiction survivor, who is now a single mother who works 70 hours a week and has had gastric-bypass weight loss surgery a year ago. Wish me luck cuz I need it!!!

Examples of My Insanity
Dead On Mental Health Quiz
Tuna Noodle Casserole Story
Explaining Myselves
Biting Off Redneck's Finger
Got So Crazy Scratched Til I Bled
How I Found Nirvana
Leaving Lon After 7 Years
Bad Luck On 3 July 4ths
Random Craziness (FBI Please Disregard)
How I Ended Up A Junky
Almost Getting Raped by a Marine
Typical Weekend in Ohio
How Cobain Saved My Life


How long could we maintain? I wondered. How long until one of us starts raving and jabbering at this boy? What will he think then? This same lonely desert was the last known home of the Manson family; will he make that grim connection when my attorney starts screaming about bats and huge manta rays coming down on the car? If so, well, we'll just have to cut his head off and bury him somewhere, 'cause it goes without saying that we can't turn him loose. He'd report us at once to some kind of outback Nazi law enforcement agency and they'll run us down like dogs. Jesus, did I say that? Or just think it? Was I talking? Did they hear me?


AFTER


WHAT'S MY NAME?!?