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the heroin dream I had friday morning went like this: Lon and I were in NY at my mom's. I'm counting up money, it's mostly ones and change. We've got $60, enough for a bag of h in Columbus, butnot enough to get us to (and assumably back from) there. We scrounge for cans and bottles to return for their deposits (in NY and a few other states you pay an extra 5 - 10 cents PER can or bottle, 2 liter etc for soda pop and beer in order to force people into recycling). We manage to get another $40, like three trash bags full of cans. Now we sort of have enough to get there and back but really we're only concerned with getting there.... So then it jumps all the way to us being in columbus, and me really not wanting to use. Lon and I argue and fight, I take off with all the money. Now I'm alone with no place to sleep. I guess Lon and I would have slept in the car at a rest area or something. So now I'm roaming Campus area and the Short North. I get to the Hyatt Regency and there's a HUGE convention of people walking in there with all their stuff. I slip into that crowd and get handed a room key. I go to that room and sleep, thinking I'm only going to take a nap then go find Lon. I had the money on me so I knew I couldn't be away too long. But I ended up falling into a deep sleep only to be awoken to the sounds and smells of heroin being cooked, spoon clanging, the burning flowery smell, the damn needle flicking again. My eyes shot open thinking lon had found me... but it was a total stranger, some buff looking guy, shooting up on the other bed. I asked him who he was and he said he was my roomate, then he asked if I wanted a shot.... I'm all "hell yeah" which is fucked up cuz I didn't want to before.... So he hands me the one he has ready and says it's kinda strong cuz he's been doin this shit for years n years and I"m thinking this dude is way too buff to be doin smack for years n years but whatever... so I actually manage to shoot up in a dream, like what I was talking about in an earlier entry.... A couple seconds after I untie the tourny and rinse out the needle I still hadn't felt anything, and I got annoyed, then I got extremely angry because I could feel SOMETHING working in me but it definitely wasn't heroin... so I go to ask him what the shit was that I just pumped into my bloodstream and he's got a big baggie of powder sittin on the table, and then I know for sure its not heroin... so he doesn't answer me and I'm getting really frustrated. and he laughs and says "Was that the first time you ever shot `roids?" and I'm like "WHAT? You let me shoot sterroids!?" and he says "You're not really with the body building convention, are you?" So I leave... that's when I wake up but I'm only awake freaking out for a couple minutes and fall back asleep and the dream sorta continues: I run into Eric, and columbus looks wayyy different, so I'm not sure if the dream is in columbus still or not. Eric's angry at me and I'm still surging from the steroids so he and I start arguing. He wants me to find him some H, and my body wants me to get some too, the roids were too much of a tease... but I really really REALLY don't want to. So Eric has me on the payphone, calling all the numbers I can remember, but I can't remember any of them the right way, I get the first three right but the last four of some other number. I'm crying the whole time too so even if I did get the right number, my voice being all fucked up they would prolly hang up on me and turn the phone off. I don't remember how the dream ands, I know I wasn't able to score for eric though, and that I was thinking about how I consistantly ruin the men in my life. But eric called (in real life) to let me know he was on his way to pick me up and give me the car so I could go to work that afternoon. I was all dazed on the phone.

dream I had last night wasn't as long and I didnt try to remember it when I woke up so I dont know many details. I'm in our bedroom with Eric and there are about a million spiders guarding a brick of heroin sitting on the nightstand. These aren't normal spiders either, they're all fucked up looking. One was the size of a coffee saucer, it was one of those non-furry one's, all shiney. The body of it was bright yellow iwth black polka dots. anotherone I saw was very round and fat, smaller though the body was only quarter-sized, and this one had two eyes on its head, like normal animal eyes (non-insecty eyes) and thingys that reminded me of snail "eyes" those feeler things that can pop back into their head when they are scared. it had those thingies all over its body and those had the more developed eyes on the ends, all different colored eyes, and the eyes were watching me and eric so that the antennae were parted down the middle of the spider, half watching me, half watching eric. Eric was trying to kill the spiders but I wasn't. They were also carrying away all the equiptment we needed, spiders carrying away the spoons and lighter and a dixie cup of water and some had q-tips... like ants carrying away picnic items. very very strange dream.

Always remember to quit while you're ahead.

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