**REGISTER TO VOTE ONLINE!** **SIGN DARFUR ACTION PETITION HERE!!**

---

the last few entries have been on the superficial side, sorry. I'll try to keep it more real, yo.

Last night The Sadness got me. I don't like using its name because by doing so The Sadness only gets stronger. I know some of you know what I'm talking about.... Usually I can deflect it, so it doesn't hit me full force. Last night though, I didn't have any shields or distractions so it went right into me. I haven't been out since Saturday, and that night ended on a downer. We went to see EchoSet, a band out of Austin. They rock. The guy that followed them DID NOT rock. I fucking hate guitar solos. I fucking hate music in general. If all music could be just a singer actually singing his lyrics, and that's it, that would rock. Instruments just ruin music, in my opinion. So do repeated choruses. Just say what you have to say and shut the fuck up. So guitar solos really fucking piss me off. Especially guitar solos from has been stuck in houston texas stevie ray vaughn wanna bes. Wow you're so cool cuz you can play really fast for 8 minutes... and his "runs" weren't in any key/chord. It sounded like something I would do on a guitar to keep someone awake. It was horrible. What made it worse is that he actually had decent lyrics. He'd stop "playing" and sing/speak his lyrics. He should have just stuck to that. ANother thing that pissed me off is that he had a bassist that barely played, and he had a SEVEN string bass... if you're going to have a fucking uppity 7 god damn string bass THEN FUCKING PLAY IT!!!! Anyway I had to "hint" at leaving a few times before Eric let us go. So that was the last night out. Since then it's been sitting on the couch watching tv. Really irks me. Eric wasn't getting it, why I was so angry. I said "I could get crunched by an SUV on my way to work tomorrow and my last night alive would have been spent sitting on the fucking couch" His reply "What's wrong with that?" argh and I said something about sitting around getting fatter, cuz I snack out of boredom and I'm pretty much always bored while at home, and his reply to that was if I didn't snack on anything then I wouldn't get fatter.... I swear I'm surrounded by window lickers. I tried to leave but there wasn't any gas in the car. I only had three dollars. I didnt feel like going to denny's, which would have been all I could afford to have done. What I really wanted to do was kick in the side panels of a really expensive luxery car and set it on fire, which desn't cost a penny to do. I came back inside, that's when all the dialog happened, about being my last night on earth and The Sadness and whatnot. After a while I asked Eric if we could rent some movies. I picked out a couple disney cartoons that he hasnt seen yet and we also got slushies on the way home. Freezing my brain usually helps kill The Sadness for some reason. I don't know if I'm making any sense. Sometimes the emptiness of life gets me. It's so pointless. And the struggle to find a point/meaning is constant. The meaning of life is to give it meaning? That's so retarded, there's got be something more to it than tha! And this whole Narcotics Anonymous thing isn't working at all. Fucking Higher Power bullshit. They say if I dont believe in God then I should make the group be my higher power. Oh yeah that makes sense, I let a whole group of drug addicts have power over my life, instead of just myself. what. the. fuck. ever.

Always remember to quit while you're ahead.

last :: next