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George W. Bush

The White House, USA

Past Work Experience:

I ran for U.S. Congress and lost.

I produced a Hollywood slasher B movie.

I bought an oil company, but couldn't find any

oil in Texas; the company went bankrupt shortly

after I sold all my stock.

I bought the Texas Rangers baseball team in a

sweetheart deal that took land using taxpayer

money.

With my father's help and name, I was elected

Governor of Texas.

Accomplishments as Governor:

I changed pollution laws in favor of the power

and oil companies and made Texas the most

polluted state in the Union.

I replaced Los Angeles with Houston as the most

smog-ridden city in America.

I cut taxes and bankrupted Texas government to

the tune of billions in borrowed money.

I set the record for the most executions by any

Governor in American history.

I became U.S. President after losing the popular

vote by over 500,000 votes with the help of major

Enron money and my father's appointments to the

Supreme Court.

Accomplishments as President:

I attacked and overtook two countries.

I spent the U.S. surplus and effectivly

bankrupted the U.S. Treasury.

I shattered the record for the largest annual

deficit in U.S. history.

I set an economic record for most private

bankruptcies filed in any 12-month period.

I set the all-time record for the biggest drop in

the history of the U.S. stock market.

My record for environmental issues is the least

of my concerns.

I am the first president in U.S. history to

enter office with a criminal record.

I set the all-time record for most days on

vacation in any one year period.

After taking-off the ENTIRE MONTH of August, I

then presided over the worst security failure in

U.S. history.

I am supporting development of a "Tactical

Bunker Buster" nuke, a WMD.

I am getting our troops killed, under th e lie of

Sadam's procurement of Yellow Cake Nuke WMD

components, then blaming the lie on our British

friends.

I set the record for most campaign fund-raising

trips by a U.S. president.

In my first year in office over 2-million

Americans lost their jobs and that trend

continues every month.

I set the all-time record for most foreclosures

in a 12-month period.

I appointed more convicted criminals to

administration than any president in U.S. history.

I set the record for least amount of press

conferences than any president since the advent

of television.

I signed more laws and executive orders

effectively amending or ignoring the Constitution

than any president in history.

I presided over the biggest energy crisis in U.S.

history and refused> to intervene when corruption

involving the oil industry was revealed.

I presided over the highest gasoline prices in

U.S. history and refused to use national reserves

as past presidents have done.

I have cut health care benefits for war veterans

and support a cut in duty benefits for active

duty troops and their families -- in war time.

I have set the all-time record for most people

worldwide to simultaneously protest me in public

venues (15 million people)shattering the record

for protest against any person in the history of

mankind.

I've dissolved more international treaties than

any president in U.S. history.

I've made my presidency the most secretive and

unaccountable of any in U.S. history.

I'm proud that the members of my cabinet are the

richest of any administration in U.S. history.

My "poorest millionaire," Condoleeza Rice, has a

Chevron oil tanker named after her.

I am the first president in U.S. history to have

almost all 50 states of the Union simultaneously

suffer massive financial crisis.

I presided over the biggest corporate stock

market fraud of any market in any country in

history.

I am the first president in U.S. history to order

a pre-emptive attack and the military occupation

of a sovereign nation, and I did so against the

will of the United Nations and the world

community.

I created the largest government department

bureaucracy in the history of the United States.

I set the all-time record for biggest annual

budget spending increases, more than any

president in history.

I am the first president in U.S. history to have

the United Nations remove the U.S. from the Human

Rights Commission.

I am the first president in U.S. history to have

the United Nations remove the U.S. from the

Elections Monitoring Board.

I removed more checks and balances, and have the

least amount of congressional oversight than any

presidential administration in U.S. history.

I rendered the entire United Nations viewpoints

irrelevant.

I withdrew the U.S. from the World Court of Law.

I refused to allow inspectors access to

U.S. "prisoners of war"(detainees) and thereby

have refused to abide by the Geneva Convention.

I am the first president in history to refuse

United Nations election inspectors (during the

2002 U.S. election).

I am the all-time U.S. and world record-holder

for receiving the most corporate campaign

donations.

My largest lifetime campaign contributor, and one

of my best friends, (Kenneth Lay, former CEO of

Enron Corporation) presided over the largest

corporate bankruptcy fraud in U.S. history. My

political

party used the Enron private jets and corporate

attorneys to assure my success with the U.S.

Supreme Court during my election decision.

I have spent more money on polls and focus groups

than any president in U.S. history.

I garnered the most sympathy for the U.S. after

the World Trade Center attacks and less than a

year later made the U.S. the most resented

country in the world, possibly the largest

failure of diplomacy in World history.

I am actively working on a policy

of "disengagement" creating the most hostile of

Israel-Palestine relations in at least 30 years.

I am first president in history to have a

majority of Europeans(71%) view my presidency as

the biggest threat to world peace and security.

I am the first U.S. president in history to have

the people of South Korea more threatened by the

U.S. than by their immediate neighbor,North Korea.

I changed the U.S. policy to allow convicted

criminals to be awarded government contracts.

I set an all-time record for the number of

administration appointees who violated U.S. law

by not selling their huge personal investments in

corporations bidding for U.S. contracts.

I failed to fulfill my pledge to capture Osama

Bin Laden, dead or alive.

I failed to capture the anthrax killer who tried

to murder the leaders of our country at t he U.S.

Capitol Building. Even after 18 months I have no

leads and no credible suspects.

In the past 18 months following the World Trade

Center attack I have successfully prevented any

public investigation into the biggest security

failure in the history of the United States.

I removed more freedoms and civil liberties for

Americans than any president in U.S. history.

In a little over two years, I created the most

divided country in decades, possibly the most

divided since the Civil War.

I entered my office with the strongest economy in

U.S. history and have turned every single

economic category downward -- all in less than

two years.

Records and References:

I have at least one conviction for drunk driving

in Maine. My Texas driving record has bee n

erased and is not available.

I was AWOL from the National Guard.

I refuse to take a drug test or even answer any

questions about drug use.

All records of my tenure as Governor of Texas are

now in my father's library, sealed, and

unavailable for public view.

All records of SEC investigations into insider

trading or bankrupt companies are sealed in

secrecy and unavailable for public view.

All records or minutes from meetings that I, or

my Vice-President, attended regarding public

energy policy are sealed in secrecy and

unavailable for public review.

Please consider my experience when voting in

2004.

Always remember to quit while you're ahead.

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