Defining Moments of My Life
update

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update
02.17.04 5:43 p.m.

I lost the entry I wrote yesterday, lets try this again. Things are weird with Harlan. He's flip-floppy, like he wants me over there every night but then he doesn't want me to be pushy or "always up his butt". Prett suggested to him that we move in together, which I hadnt spoke or really thought of at all and that flipped him out, and then I mentioned I had an extra mattress I could bring over cuz he's sleeping on a military fold up cot and I'm on the floor or couch, just being practical and not trying to move in but cuz of the things Prett's saying to him he got all freaked out. Then again Harlan brings up things like how I'm not quite marrying material, yet, (he emphasized the yet) and that he still needed to work on me. He was saying this to his mom. Another weird thing is that his friend Eric hung out at my place with Prett one night and they went over to Harlan and Eric's ex-girl's house to see if she was slutty enough to do Prett as well (nope...) They all had a nice long talk about me and Harlan and she ended up calling him and telling him all these supposed horrible things I've done to the other boyfriends I've had. Then Prett told me all these horrible things Harlan supposedly said about me (VIA Eric) or that he's supposedly done to that ex-slut of his so all this he said-she said bullshit nearly caused a fight last night. I stopped home to get some clothes and Prett said that he wanted to go with me cuz he was pretty sure Harlan was going to dump me. Why would I want him there? WTF? Besides, Harlan and I aren't a THING... there's no relationship really, I won't deny the feelings, I couldn't do that, I'd be a slut if I said there was no caring for him, but really, "keepin it real" I make him feel good and he makes me feel good, we both make each other's lives easier. We try not to get complex about it. I'm still jumping through hoops for him, all the little tests he puts me through to check my honesty and loyalty and trust... other things... like he asked the other day if I wanted to throw in on a bag of H and I said "I'm not doing or paying for any of that shit and neither are you." he said "good answer". Prett mentioned no details about how supposedly messed up Harlan is but he said that he's very concerned for my welfare being around him. When we watched American Psycho he called Bateman a pussy and told me I owed him 2 hours of his life back. Very interesting. I like this excitement, not knowing what's gonna happen. Honestly, I'd like to experience his so called madness and darkside.


On a diff subject, Prett has decided to move to florida cuz he hates it here, Joe a guy I give rides to and from work has expressed interest in moving in. He'd have to check with his parole officer. LOL the situations I get myself into. Actually Joe's a great guy, and only paying $200 a month in rent sounds fucking awesome, plus he owns a tv and shit like that, would be super easy to get us to work. Dont go thinking anything sexual will happen, first he's not really my typoe, plus he's engaged and his fiancee is pregnant. I've met her and she's super nice. Hopefully things go well, a roomate around would def be a good idea for a nutjob like myself.


Always remember to quit while you're ahead.

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About Me
I am a bipolar genius, child abuse & addiction survivor, who is now a single mother who works 70 hours a week and has had gastric-bypass weight loss surgery a year ago. Wish me luck cuz I need it!!!

Examples of My Insanity
Dead On Mental Health Quiz
Tuna Noodle Casserole Story
Explaining Myselves
Biting Off Redneck's Finger
Got So Crazy Scratched Til I Bled
How I Found Nirvana
Leaving Lon After 7 Years
Bad Luck On 3 July 4ths
Random Craziness (FBI Please Disregard)
How I Ended Up A Junky
Almost Getting Raped by a Marine
Typical Weekend in Ohio
How Cobain Saved My Life


How long could we maintain? I wondered. How long until one of us starts raving and jabbering at this boy? What will he think then? This same lonely desert was the last known home of the Manson family; will he make that grim connection when my attorney starts screaming about bats and huge manta rays coming down on the car? If so, well, we'll just have to cut his head off and bury him somewhere, 'cause it goes without saying that we can't turn him loose. He'd report us at once to some kind of outback Nazi law enforcement agency and they'll run us down like dogs. Jesus, did I say that? Or just think it? Was I talking? Did they hear me?


AFTER


WHAT'S MY NAME?!?