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Welly welly welly welly welly welly well... the night turned out interesting after all. Nothing better than phone sex (cept real sex) to make an evening stuck at home much MUCH better. It's close to 5 am and we were on the phone two hours I'm thinking. Not a stranger, someone who's heard me cum before actually. (there was a sentence here that may have become incriminating so for security purposes I deleted it) OK I should retract that just cuz he's got a fiance and they're a happy couple and what not and both of em have diaries etc. Like Conan always says "They'll take that out in post-production." and they never do. OK, I just did delete that and you'll all be confused as to what the fuck I'm talking about. ANYWAY, I hadn't aim'd with him in a long time, as I've had no AOL IM program for the past 7 months etc and frankly no reasoon to need/want phone sex seein I was gettin so much since the end of January... but it's been two and a half weeks since I last got laid. Seriously, it's a long time for me. The longest I went before that was the time between breaking up with Eric and meeting Harlan. (Now that I'm trying to think abotu it, I can't even remember when I fucked Eric last.)

My mom still isn't home and Rick just got home 15 minutes ago. I'm hoping that he's so drunk that his sense of smell is warped and he doesn't notice the upstairs level of the house smelling yummy.... Very good phone convo... he couldn't say much on his end though. I'd like to talk details but again... see I have SOME morality left in me dammit, cuz I know what it's like to be cheated on... those are the only morals I have really, to not do to others the harmful things done to me. I'd really like to catch this guy in person. I have a cell number, and he thought highly of my idea to not tell him when I'm in town, and to surprise call him for unplanned sex. I think this is a wonderful idea in general, and going along with my fantasy of having sex with a whole Majik the Gathering tournament,(to totally, insanely, unbelievably, rock their geeky little worlds!!) I think it might also be interesting to just call people at random in the phone book, or RDD them, not even get their name, the "wordless fuck"....

I'm not thinking straight, I popped a "few" of my mom's darvocets so that I'd fall asleep one of these days, and then I took an amiltryptiline and two nuerontin for shits n giggles. Nah, they take the edge off the darvs, makes it not-so warm n fuzzy. Oh christ they kicked in fast but I've not been cheating on atkins the last week, minus 4 pounds to prove it, gaining too much muscle and weight loss has slowed, inches still decrease though. Cant seem to tighten certain areas. Took pics of my abs, debating whether or not to put them up here. I wanna wait, kinda like the swan where they couldnt look in mirrors. I wanna make everyone wait and surprise them. I fucking love surprising people, I oughtta be goddamned santa claus.

ANYWAY, J, thank you for a very good time, I hope you had as much fun as I did. He's got a sexy voice, very cute. His voice sounds young, like I do, I sound like a teenager, my voice is quite girly actually. I love my voice, way sexy. I was REALLY good on the phones back at O.U. I should try phone sex for a living but I giggle too much, also I'd get that call from some perv wanting me to pretend I'm his 5 year old niece and I'd start having flashbacks and go ape shit etc. Mmm, I can't feel my face. OK yup it's still there. Is there method in my madness, or is it total choas like Colonel Kurtz? Brando died and I'm longing for Apocolypse Now. Sheen's a sexy MF too. Charlie don't surf. What else can I ramble about. Did I mention he had a really sexy voice. No discernable accent. I have one but it's hard to trace, a mix of yankee and drawl cuz I mumble/tongue ring in the way. The New Yoka in me comes out sometimes though, and also sometimes a lil bit of the "Fargo" even though I never lived where that accent was prominent, a few had it in wisconsin, like the oh so sexy redhead who worked at the quick trip. ok I'm starting to nod out. I made up my mind not to talk to Harlan anymore. I'm so addicted to him. I think I'll fuck him again though. I think when I get enough money, and I do see this in my future, I do see myself having bling, in fact I thinka botu it during my times of poverty in a Miss Scarlet kind of way "I swear to God I will never go hungry again..." prolly get a book published or somethign like that, maybe a book and rock video AND a porn tape at the same time... so anyway, whenever I get my own Tara, I'm gonna lock up Harlan in my private zoo. The only animals there will be my sex slaves. I'll string em all out on drugs so they never wanna leave. Nah, they wouldnt wanna leave ever. I'd keep him, he would be kept. He is just that good. I would have him fuck everybody in the world cuz he's that good. I'd share, I'd feel obligated. It'll be a while before I get fucked like that again. Though the guy from the phone tonight, even with him being kinda nervous and saying "I'll never be able to top that..." I think he's got it in him. He's been with the same girl for a long time, and he's a scorpio (sex machine) and I have a knack (dum dada dum dada dum dadadadadada dum dada dum, my sharona!) I have a talent for bringing out the best (or worst...) in people. No worries babybaby, I'm good enough for the both of us. I need my bed. I had him count from 30, his phone was runnign outta juice. mmm my nose itchesssssss and my scalp feels like my hair is wet... He counted too fast and I kept saying dont speed up and he thought I was saying "speed up" he didnt hear the DONT, so I made him start over. See, I ALWAYS come when people count down from thrity, but it has to been a "60 - count", like it needs to roughly match the second hand of a clock, and tempo is important too, it blows mmy consentration if they speed up, also need to be in the mood to where someone just cant call me randomly and start counting from 30, though maybe 60 or 100 would work in that circumstacne, which would be interesting if someone tried. I like getting surprises almost as much as I like giving them. man I need to seetle my ass down and go to sleep before I say something I'll have to delete in the morning, it IS mproning. Anyway, good convo too, he's pretty smart so talking to him is fun. he also laughs at my jokes, finds me funny so that helps. Maybe that's where I'll make my money, being a stand up comedian. Though my stage presence would be a cross betweeen Sam Kineson and Lydia Lunch... it's all good. mmm I should make my way out west... lots of yummy desserts out thataway.

Always remember to quit while you're ahead.

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