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Well it looks like I'm not going to be winning that timmy ho scholarship after all. "Our records indicate that you have submitted an application for the Team Tim Horton�s Scholarship Program, however, we have not yet received all of your completed Volunteer Hours Verification Forms. The deadline for submission is Wednesday, April 12, 2006 at 11:59 pm (EST) � TONIGHT ! If you do not submit your volunteer verification forms by the deadline, you will not receive credit for the volunteer or community service hours listed.
You can submit your volunteer verification forms using any of the methods described below. Forms must be fully completed and signed before submission. We will not accept forms after the deadline." I also got a phone call wednesday night that I ignored cuz it said restricted # but that was some lady from the scholarship fund trying to get me to fax the forms in. I gave the forms to my mom three weeks ago to have em signed and faxed by someone at the Moose. I know I shoulda reminded her but earlier this week when I was finishing the essay I checked the website and it said I could submit the forms at a later date. Obviously they meant a later date that occurs before the deadline.... Now the website doesn't have that info anymore and I'm pretty sure I'm out a thousand bucks. Im mad at my mom but more at myself cuz even though I did do everything I was spozed to, I still shoulda known my mom isnt responsibile enough. I shoulda just forged them when I had the chance.

I'm having a crappy day. Nothing in particular, just my usual sense of impending doom flaring up. Of the 2,700 I got this week I gave a thousand to my mom (she said "see, you do love me" and I said "it's cheaper than a hitman") I mailed $200 to Janet for the car, $100 to my brother so he & the family could come out this weekend, I bought $150 worth of baby stuff last night and another $400 today ($300 being a digital camera and all the stuff with it minus a printer), and I said I'd help Pig Fucker get his car on the road ($200). This leaves me with no money if I have more problems with the car, which will most likely be the case. So far it's cost $300 in registration/plates/inspection/transfering title PLUS the $150 I have to pay for not getting the plates off the old car when I gave it to Prett PLUS the $100 I gave Prett to get that car on the road PLUS the $70 on the thermostat and whatever I paid on the radiator AND I was told then that the car needed a front axel, cv joints, front shocks and an alignment after all that work is done which was quoted at $750... pretty expensive for a nearly free car. It's better than the old car still though, just cuz of the broken door and the windows not working etc.

Didnt get enough sleep last night, was up til 2 reading for school. I wanted to sleep earlier but couldn't because of the diet rock star energy drink I had at 7pm. Taurine was the second ingredient listed. I think that the taurine (bull testosterone) spikes my mania, I feel it more cuz of the bipolar chem imbalance. Anyway I'm thinking of a week long trial run of drinking one of those puppies first thing every morning, see if Im more focused during the day and am able to sleep at night without having to smoke so much weed. Fact is, I'm still naturally nocturnal, and I don't know what affect any amount or combination of chemicals will have on that fact. I think I'll still always feel like an outsider when I'm in the daylight.

All meloncholy aside, I did have a nice time with B. We'll have to see where that goes. We talked on the phone last night and couldn't figure out when our schedules will clear for another get together but we'll work something out. I gave him a password to the diary before I met him so now I can't/won't write about him in here. That or I'll take away the password, lol.

Some other good thing happened recently (trying to think...) oh yeah! Gabe motherfucken Whitney wrote a book called "Wild Man". I was on myspace seeing who was on there from my high school and he had just set up his profile. I msgd him saying I'd trade him my comics for his book, tempting him with the fact that he's in a few of the comics (though I didnt tell him I make him look like a tool : ) No response but it's only been a day. Secret note to Janet --> DAMN!!!!!

OK I really need to do homework... got some written assignments due tomorrow and I havent even read/found what the assignments are, hopefully theyre not 20 page papers.......

UPDATE
It's not 20 pages long but I still have to save somebody's life.

Mary Jones is a thirty-five year old woman. She was married at the age of twenty-five. She and her husband tried very hard to conceive a child. Eventually, Mary learned that she was unable to have a child. When she was twenty-seven, she and her husband divorced. The divorce was bitter and Mary felt that it was a sign that she was a failure. When Mary was twenty-nine, she married a widower with a three year-old daughter. Mary was thrilled that she could be a mother to the child.

Recently, Mary learned that her husband was having an extramarital relationship. When she confronted him, he admitted that it was true. He told her that he no longer loved her and that he wanted a divorce. He told her that he received a job offer in Portugal. He said that he planned to accept the position and that he and his daughter would leave for Portugal within a month.

Mary was stunned. She felt more like a failure than ever before. She blamed herself for losing her husband's love. She thought that he would still love her if she had been a better wife. She was frantic at the thought of losing her little stepdaughter. She loved the child as though she were her own.

Mary stopped going to work. She stopped answering the phone. Soon, she found it difficult to get out of bed. She slept whole days away. She had devoted herself to her husband and his child and she had neglected her friends and family. She used to have a close relationship with her sister but they had not spoken to each other in a year. Now, at a time that she perceived as the worst in her life, Mary felt that there was no one she could call for help.

One morning, Mary felt almost paralyzed. She felt so sad and exhausted she could not get out of bed even though there was nothing physically wrong with her. She began to think that it would be better to be dead than to feel the way that she felt. That thought scared Mary. She realized that she could not go on as she was. She was in danger of losing her job and she had very little money left in the bank. Also, she lost twenty pounds and was extremely underweight. She no longer had an appetite and ate very little. Mary looked up the number for the crisis hotline and called it.

What Do You Do?

You are a brand new crisis worker at the hotline. You answered the phone when Mary called. Mary said to you, "My name is Mary and I feel like it would be better to be dead than to have the pain that I feel." In a double-spaced paper of three pages, describe the following: Describe the event that precipitated Mary's crisis and the reasons why this situation or event was perceived by Mary as a crisis. Describe any indicators that Mary was crisis prone. Describe how you could tell that Mary was in a crisis and not simply temporarily upset. Step by step, describe the intervention that you conducted with Mary to help her address her crisis. Make to sure to describe in detail how you responded to Mary's opening statement. Make sure to include a safety or lethality assessment in your intervention. Make sure that you include a description of Mary's perception of the crisis situation. Make sure that you help Mary to explore her strengths and to build a support system. Make sure that you help Mary to identify plenty of options from which to choose. Avoid simply telling Mary what to do or giving her advice. Pick up Mary's story where I left off and describe the outcome of the crisis. Describe the impact of the intervention on the outcome of the crisis.
Make sure that you use as much of what you learned from the course reading for the first three weeks of the course as possible to develop your intervention. If you quote from a reading, remember to cite the source, using the APA format.

I've only been in this class for two weeks remember... this assignment seems a little advanced for this early in the class, tough shit for Mary I guess.

Always remember to quit while you're ahead.

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