Defining Moments of My Life
momma dadda

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momma dadda
03.01.07 5:02 p.m.

Been having pretty shitty dreams lately. Lots of stress going on right now, and I'm not thinking about it or dealing with it consciously so it's just bubbling there under the surface, coming through in my dreams.

I've had some good job leads, then they don't pan out. I have an interview tomorrow for home health aid shit, but the training classes dont start until mid april... so I wouldnt start working until May. I applied for the overnight baker position at wades in farmington, a 45 minute drive and I'll be lucky to get more than $8 an hour. That's if I get hired.... Tim applied at Pioneer, a wood recycling plant in Farmington, and it seemed like he was getting hired but they havent called yet either. We'll both be calling about all this tomorrow. Sometimes I think we'd be better off with assigned job like back in the dark ages where you had no choice, you just did what your parents did.... Tim also got what he needed for the temp agency, so we thought he'd be working somewhere no later than next week, but the office told him that they have to send the disposition to corporate and wait on a decision from them. That could be weeks. Anyway I'm thinking about planting some crops cuz it's looking like the only way to make money or get by in this day and age is to do it illegally.

Tim got his divorce papers delivered a couple days ago. He's very relieved to be done with it. Tim wants to ask me to marry him, and he seems to be in a hurry. It's like it's a confidence thing, he either wants to tie me down quick before I get away... or he wants to prove how much he loves me (which I already know). He's willing to get married on halloween, which is my top concern about a wedding. I'm more excited than I let on.

I picked up custody paperwork for Cass today. I wanna get full custody so that Greg doesn't have it so easy with visitation and shit like that. I want to make sure he has her somewhere safe with someone sober... I need to figure out if I can put that into some sort of court order. He gets out of jail in April. In my dream this morning he was walking into a bar right after he got out of jail. I used to worry abotu him cleaning up his act, even more recently since he's been in jail. I could force him, like narc him in when he's out drinking, but really I dont care anymore. Cass is already calling someone else daddy anyway.


Always remember to quit while you're ahead.

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About Me
I am a bipolar genius, child abuse & addiction survivor, who is now a single mother who works 70 hours a week and has had gastric-bypass weight loss surgery a year ago. Wish me luck cuz I need it!!!

Examples of My Insanity
Dead On Mental Health Quiz
Tuna Noodle Casserole Story
Explaining Myselves
Biting Off Redneck's Finger
Got So Crazy Scratched Til I Bled
How I Found Nirvana
Leaving Lon After 7 Years
Bad Luck On 3 July 4ths
Random Craziness (FBI Please Disregard)
How I Ended Up A Junky
Almost Getting Raped by a Marine
Typical Weekend in Ohio
How Cobain Saved My Life


How long could we maintain? I wondered. How long until one of us starts raving and jabbering at this boy? What will he think then? This same lonely desert was the last known home of the Manson family; will he make that grim connection when my attorney starts screaming about bats and huge manta rays coming down on the car? If so, well, we'll just have to cut his head off and bury him somewhere, 'cause it goes without saying that we can't turn him loose. He'd report us at once to some kind of outback Nazi law enforcement agency and they'll run us down like dogs. Jesus, did I say that? Or just think it? Was I talking? Did they hear me?


AFTER


WHAT'S MY NAME?!?