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"in olden days a bit of stocking was looked on as something shocking but now god knows... anything goes!" yeah that one goes out to imwrong.

today was a decent day actually and I'm pretty sure its all thanks to my Nirvana mixed tape that I made thursday. Been listening to it non-stop and everyone that rides with me doesnt want to anymore. I took my brother and some of his friends to the waterfalls today and we went cliff diving, about 30 feet or so high, into the water. of course I'd get off on pretending to kill myself... I'd just imagine it was a building and count how many seconds until I hit the water. anyway, they were threatening to throw the tape out the window ("yeah and your ass will be goin out the window next, you think I'm kiddin?" so I had listened to the whole thing twice and turned the radio on instead and Smells Like Teen Spirit was just starting it was fucken awesome, all the kids in the backseat (4 of them) were like NO!!!!!! and I was saying "Thanks Kurt!" cuz Nirvana always happens at perfect moments like that. so today I met this ex-junkie named David. He used for about 13 years and spent the last two trying to stay clean, he's got like 4 months right now and has 9 more to go in the program he's on. fuck that! AND it's a christian program where they gotta pray and go to church two times a week. butt-fuck that!! man if I were ever forced to go to church, like I forgot to carry my cynide capsules that day or somethign and there was absolutely no way of getting out of it, I think I'd have to light the bibles on fire and throw em around. last time I went to church was when my friend Trev was coming out of the closet and he decided to tell everyone at church (yeah... dont ask ok I told it was a bad idea but no one listens to me noooo) and so I went through the hyme book with my sharpie and added "IN BED" after the titles of many songs for example "Jesus Loves The Little Children IN BED" there was even one that had something to do with "Jesus Rode an Ass", I am not fucking kidding it was awesome, try it, its way more fun (and evil) than doing it with fortune cookies. ok so whatthefuck was I saying, oh yeah the junkie guy, he was pretty cool and likes Nirvana, but really are there any junkies who hate Nirvana? yoohoo? anyone?? didn't think so.... my brother was pissed that I met him, well not pissed just worried "yeah just what you need a god damned drug connection in NY!" but no way am I asking some dude IN rehab to score for me or to give me numbers.... I'll have to wait till he gets out, ha no, not quite. I know if I ever started here, like if I got into the game at all then I'd have to move again. so ok why else was today nice oh yeah came home and my mom and her drunk were gone so thats def. a plus and then the 1960 version on psycho was on and man anthony perkins is fucking sexy in that, the last scene where he's like "I'll just sit here and not say anything and not even move, I bet they're watching me now, well I'm not even going to swat the fly off my hand. Then they'll think 'she wouldn't even harm a fly'" and he's got this grin, you know the grin... I bet I got that grin. hell I know I do. I'm just not as sexy as Perkins. tall dark and evil, just how I like my men. ok they dont even have to be tall; Maynard, C. Manson, my friend Neil... they're all dark & sexy-evil but are shorter than me. I prefer tall though. Lon's pretty much perfect, I wish he'd wear more black though. ok the carnival's in town and we got some dank nugs and the fireworks are in an hour....

Always remember to quit while you're ahead.

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