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fucked up dream last night where I might have been working at a carnival. I was definitely a gutter punk LIVING at the fair grounds, maybe the carnival just happened to be in town. Eric was there too though he didnt live there. I was having fun running around with Prett and Lon and lots of other punks. We let all the monkeys loose and they well, went ape through the carnival. It got a little scary at this part but then Eric showed up and rescued me. He wasn't s stranger, I'd talked with him a lot. Maybe he was some sort of NA/AA sponsor. So later, after something of an argument cuz I wouln't leave the carnival and live with him, he walks me back to our camp site to make sure I get there ok. I climb into my bedroll and he sits down next to me, sitting on my blankets somewhat. he sits on something though and gets up, pulls the covers back and there's a whole bunch of needles there, obviously used, some still had blood in them.... Eric immediately started screaming at me and calling me mean names and all I could say was "they're not mine..." and they weren't mine... and I was very confused.... I kept looking to Lon for help, for him to say that they weren't mine but all he did was laugh. I was mumbling over and over "this isnt happening..." and then I said more clearly "the needle I kept was brand new and I took the point off it so it couldnt ever be used... I just wanted you to actually see one in person, to scare you..." and Eric said that he WAS scared, and that I over did it cuz it really worked.... But then he started taking the caps off the needles on the blanket and they all had points and he was super pissed again and was jabbing his fingers trying to get the caps back on and I was screaming at him, trying to get them away from him... trying to get him to believe that they weren't mine and that they were dangerous and he said that I was seriously fucked up and he shoulda known better helping out a trashy junkie like me and maybe even the needles weren't mine but I shouldnt put us in situations like that where it's gonna come up and be a problem and then he stormed off and lon was still laughing and then the monkeys started to howl and run amuck again.

Always remember to quit while you're ahead.

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