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Last night in the middle of Conan, my friend Daniel sent me an instant message saying he was very drunk and wanted to die. I knew he was being a bit overdramatic, he's the last person in the world that would kill themself. But he was drunk, and obviously needed someone to talk to... I called him to see what was going on.

I "met" Daniel on my old Nirvana mailing list Territorial Pissings. I was a newbie to the list then, though I ended up taking ownership of it a couple years later. Anyway this was back around christmas 95. It was about the same time I had met Lon on the same mailing list. Though I had feelings for Lon already, Daniel was the one to invite me out to California to (I assume) live with him. He has always been trying to get me to come live in California. I don't know why, anyone who knows anything about me knows how much I would hate living in California. I've mentioned Daniel in here before. He was the only friend I had before I started using, who didnt flip out while I was using, and who is still my friend after I stopped. He acted like it wasn't even a big deal, probably because where he lives it's NOT a big deal. So ok we talk about why he's feeling shitty, and why he's so fucking drunk. Turns out he got a rejection letter from the grad school he was trying to get into. He says he didnt do very well on his GRE. I understand that its gotta be disappointing. I haven't gotten to the GRE stages of my education yet, and Ive always been blessed with great test taking abilities, but I can imagine what its like to plan for something and then have it not happen. So during the course of the conversation we somehow landed on my sex life, which Daniel always seems to bring up _for some reason_.... He got pretty flustered talking about my lack of promiscuity. He says my sex morals sicken him, that a girl my age should have had AT LEAST ten sex partners and that I should get off my high horse and start putting out. He was seriously ANGRY at me, he was YELLING. He said I made no sense, that I'm a hypocrite because I'm so liberal with everything else yet I'm traditional/conservative about sex. Which I'm not... I'm what's referred to as a "bedroom slut". I'm sorry but anonymous sex is something I can't handle. It's not functional or neccessary. After that little argument we moved onto how many sex partners I think Kurt Cobain had (the two topics tied together somehow) and Daniel flipped out on me saying that Kurt had "his share" of women, that he was a rock star afterall, and if hot women were constantly throwing themselves on him then he must have fucked them, cuz he was a man and men do stuff like that. I tried to explain how shy Kurt was and how sexually traditional he was too (tho Im sure he was a "bedroom slut" as well). He wasn't buying any of it. All the heroin Kurt did would have made it impossible to even have sex anyway. I cant believe he even managed to knock up Courtney Hole.... Heroin fulfills the sex drive, the penis stops working, and even if it magically gets hard there's no way ejaculation is happening.... I highly doubt Kurt had more than 5 sex partners his whole life, and that's INCLUDING Michael Stipe!! Daniel said "Even if Kurt had only 5 sex partners in 27 years that means you have 2 years to sleep with three more people, AND GIRLS DONT COUNT!" Yeah... it would have been much easier if he would just say he wanted to fuck me. Sheesh! Technically he already has, a few times. It's always either a "joke" or he's "drunk" and doesn't know what he's saying. Uh huh.... He's such a dork.

Always remember to quit while you're ahead.

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