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a response to a bitchfest forum topic about me:

I was born dead to a drug addict mother. I was locked in a basement nearly every day for 8 years. I was molested/raped for two years by a cousin. I've had everything even remotely oblong-shaped shoved inside one or more of my orifices. I was moelested on a couple other occaisions by a couple different people. The only need I had met as a child was that of nourishment, (hence the name phatgrrl) which consisted of bologna logs and cheese wheels from the government and loafs of stale bread from the church. I had severe health problems due to all of the above but did not receive medical care. In my teenage years I suffered many knee dislocations and an externally fractured leg and subsequent surgeries. I was given unsupervised prescriptions of morphine, vicodin and various forms of vallium. At the end of my senior year I didn't sleep for two weeks, thought I was a blue berry, and my stonach ruptured with a bleeding ulcer. I was nearly raped again that summer, but managed to fight my way out. I was suicidal from 8 yrs old till about a year ago. I've been clinically dead 5 times. I started doing heroin because it was a living suicide, a pause on life. The pills in high school made it ok that my knee cap was missing, that I needed all those surgeries to fix my cartilige & birth defects. I figured that heroin would be even better. It took six years but I managed to become a junkie. It made everything OK, it reset my brain. I died a couple times and realized I didn't wanna die anymore. I have more clean time than I do usage time now. I've undone the damage I've caused myself, and have started to undo the damage others have done to me. I have a diary online so that people don't have to feel like they're the only one that shit happens to, and to help "the addict that still suffers". So you can take your having to eat baked beans and shove it up your son's ass.

Always remember to quit while you're ahead.

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