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BEFORE
nobody loves you, nobody has to, just because
11.07.03 4:18 p.m.
I'm very proud of myself, I did very well on the practice tests today. I did the second math test and "only" missed 11 of 50. 3 of those were because I didn't know the formula for volume of a cone. They gave the formula for a cylinder, I figured that if a triangle is half a rectangle, a cone must be half a cylinder, nope i's 1/3. I kinda thught it might be that too. I blew 3 questions cuz the two questions after that depended on your answers to the first one. Bastards. Anyway, the test took me an hour and 15 mins to finish but I spent 20 mins on those 3 questions I blew. The reading test was easy, took me 45 mins, I missed 4 of 40, got a 90%. The grammar/english test took me an hour and 15 mins, I missed 5 of 40, about an 88%, and two of the ones I got wrong I'm pissed about cuz after reading the book's explanations I still feel my answer is best. Stupid test preparer. There's an essay section too but I didnt practce that, I aleady know that the topic will be to choose a side of a debate question and support my decision. It only has to be between 300-600 words also. I'll have 5 hours to do all 4 portions, it's all in one booklet. I fucken love this about the test because I fly through reading and essay and need hella more time on math. Oh, I drank about 8 cups of coffee during he practice tests, and smoked two stale menthol cigarettes, so I'll need a definite caffeine/nicotine fix tomorrow. I don't know why they dont have nicotine in coffee, or caffeine in cigarettes... I feel the same way about weed and cheese. They need to have cheese flavored weed and cheese that has weed in it. Imagine cheddar brats with weed inside as well! Anyway, I'm so not fretting about this piece-of-shit-excuse-for-yet-another-student-fee placement test tomorrow.
Habanero is licking my cleavage, I put patchouli on before Denny's (I think all boobies should smell good.) The kitten also likes shaving cream, the bottle never has any leftovers hanging out like the toothpaste does.
I was freaking about these tests because it is very fucking important that I have my degree by July. If I test into Retard Math then the degree might not happen until later, stupid ass fucking semesters instead of quarters, another excuse to get more money out of students.... Most students have the money, their parents can afford the "Expected Family Contribution", so the poor students get more in the hole. One day I'll be a modern version of Robin Hood, but I'll steal from the rich to fund the forth coming class war. Anyway back to the degree thing, yet another teaching position has opened up at shapstown. And again I am passed up because I don't have my degree. Do not be confused here, I do not regret dicking around in college, I don't regret my past, regrets are foolish. One cannot change the paths they've taken, but one is able to change the road they're on. I use "regret" to change the present course of direction. Regret is inspiration. Regret is a swift kick in the ass.
Once I have my degree I see smooth sailing ahead. I'll work through HRC long enough to get bills settled and shit like that done, I'll do the peace corps sometime thereafter, I'll do teach america to have my student loans cancelled, I'll go back to school for my masters in something-or-other, I'll teach college and adult ed stuff, I'll be nomadic and move every couple years, I'll live with a rich french family and teach their spoiled children english, I'll do the same in china maybe, and in st. petersburg also. I'll do whatever the hell I choose to do, just because I can.
Always remember to quit while you're ahead.
I am a bipolar genius, child abuse & addiction survivor, who is now a single mother who works 70 hours a week and has had gastric-bypass weight loss surgery a year ago. Wish me luck cuz I need it!!!
Examples of My Insanity
Dead On Mental Health Quiz
Tuna Noodle Casserole Story
Explaining Myselves
Biting Off Redneck's Finger
Got So Crazy Scratched Til I Bled
How I Found Nirvana
Leaving Lon After 7 Years
Bad Luck On 3 July 4ths
Random Craziness (FBI Please Disregard)
How I Ended Up A Junky
Almost Getting Raped by a Marine
Typical Weekend in Ohio
How Cobain Saved My Life
How long could we maintain? I wondered. How long until one of us starts raving and jabbering at this boy? What will he think then? This same lonely desert was the last known home of the Manson family; will he make that grim connection when my attorney starts screaming about bats and huge manta rays coming down on the car? If so, well, we'll just have to cut his head off and bury him somewhere, 'cause it goes without saying that we can't turn him loose. He'd report us at once to some kind of outback Nazi law enforcement agency and they'll run us down like dogs. Jesus, did I say that? Or just think it? Was I talking? Did they hear me?
AFTER
WHAT'S MY NAME?!?