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I don't really have time for journal writing this morning but if I don't get this down it'll be forgotten. I wanted to get the floors cleaned and out the flea powder down, or get them clean enough so Eric can put the powder down. Anyway, at about 6am I woke up. This is the usual time I wake up and have to pee. Really it's around 4:30 that I wake up but I'm always hoping I can fall asleep and hold it till I get up for real at 8. Now that I don't get up until about 11 or so I have to get up in the middle of the night and use the bathroom, and that time has been about 6:15am. Same for this morning except that today I woke up feeling dope sick. Very fucking weird - though it has happened before. The hot flashes woke me up but right away the stomache stuff kicked in, the nausea and cramps, etc. And the nose stuff kicked in, watery eyes, runny nose, itchy head and arms. For ten minutes I thought I was going to throw up. The only thing different from this morning and the times I was really going through withdrawl was the taste/smell. The rotten fruit smell wasn't present, and that awful taste wasn't in my mouth (which is probably why I didn't hurl). After hanging out in the bathroom long enough to settle myself down, I took a couple benadryl and managed to fall back asleep. And the dream I had before I woke up feeling dope sick? Dream about me visiting NY and Lon having dope... in the dream I saw him shooting, but all these sheets and netting were hanging up between us and I got tangled trying to get to him. I think I wanted to stop him, but of course I wanted to do it too. I think I had the dream in response to how my body was feeling at the time (the hot flashes). I know I rarely talk about stupid girly stuff in here but since quitting over a year ago my cycles have been more regular and more painful. I'd always lucked out with one of my ovaries nto working and skipping a month or more in between, and it being light and only lasting four days.... But the full-body labotamy that is heroin addiction reset everything about me, the bipolar crap has leveled out, body chemicals that didn't work before the dope are working now. Maybe I did enough to refill my empty glands. At any rate, I have never enjoyed being a woman, less so now that I am more like a regular woman with a more normal cycle. OK No more girly crap. I fell back asleep and when the alarm went off I woke up with a commercial jingle in my head. The commercial is for a store in Rochester, I don't even know if it's open anymore, called "The Record Archive". The commercial I remembered was from my childhood, was on TV back in the 80's. I'll try to explain it but really you need to see it. There's a dude wearing a big record costume, like vinyl... before cassettes... that kind of record. He's got on tights, some silly hat of sorts. He's dancing around. The commercial is homemade (crappy) with poor acting and editing and effects. It scared the hell out of me as a kid. THe record-man sang in a very deep voice, kinda frog-like. I can't remember all the words to the commercial, but it was creepy waking up with "service, selection and prices so low, the record archive is the place to go... the record archive is the place to go!" repeating in my head, with the image of record-dude dancing around in his tights. I wonder if they still show that commercial, still freaking out little kids. They might have gone out of business when CD came out. Other commercials freaked me out when I was little, especially the House of Guitars one with the dude in the bunny suit. "Hop Hop, Hop into the Great Great House of Guitars for their sale..." I don't think it was even anywhere near easter, just some stoner kid in a bunny suit I'm sure. I've just never liked people in animal costumes, they freak me out. The same with live animals who talk like people in movies. Milo and Otis is fine, but not where their lips are moving and they're smiling. Freaks the shit outta me. Anyway I got cleaning to do.

Always remember to quit while you're ahead.

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