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BEFORE
apartment stuff, getting ready for NY and OH
12.13.03 3:41 p.m.
GED registration went well. The guy with the french/british accent flirted some, mentioned -off hand of course...- that it was almost time for a divorce, that he had to wait a couple more months or he might lose his green card. Interesting. One of the community service workers has been flirting with me also, his name's Edward. I thought his name was Erick, (some other comm. serv. guy) and Edward said "Eric?? That's your exboyfriend's name isn't it? I'm not your boyfriend yet am I?" and I said "Depends on your karma." but he didn't get the joke. Both guys are nice, but they're still guys and therefore pigs and not worth my time or love. I'm kosher when it comes to dating.
In other news, I bought a mattress set. It's only a full size, but it'll seem less empty that way. I put the futon mattress in the zen room and put the nice mattresses on the futon itself. I think today I'll move the futon out into the living room and get the mattress out of the closet (no it's not gay lol). Right now I only have 2 papasan chairs in the living room. I need to take pics of the apt. I got all the roaches dead, now I just need to sweep and vacuum them up again. I got a lot of decorating done in the last few days. I got the tie dye up on one wall, and smiley face wallpaper on another, lights and everything including the guitar and amp set up in the zen room. I bought almost $40 worth of stuff from the dollar store today. I needed basics like kitchen utensils, steak knives, dishwasher soap, shampoos and body wash, generic tylenol and aleve, coffee mugs, doormat, salt n pepper shakers, toilet brush, broom, mop, toilet paper, measuring cups and spoons, water pitcher, q-tips, nightlight, shaving cream, cheese slicer, more smiley face decorations for the zen room walls... I'm not remembering everything. Except for groceries I should be all set. Eric mentioned he wanted to buy me that tv w/dvd and vcr that I mentioned earlier. Now he's renegging on it cuz he's broke. I might go halves or something. I don' know if I want to commit to cable yet though, even with everyone telling me Angie isn't gonna come back for her job. Still even if she does I'll only be bringing home about $200 a week. I already paid January's rent, and my next pay check will be $500 take home so that's Febuary's rent. Plus I still have a few hundred in the bank, which is enough to pay my $140 electric deposit and my first grocery trip. I applied for food stamps though, trying to prepare for the worst. If I lose the job I'll have rent covered for a while and enough time to find something else. I should be alright, I always am I suppose.
At the dollar store I ran into Renee from NA. She remembered my face but not my name, said I need to come around KISS more often. I didn't tell her I hadn't been to a meeting in over two months. I was actually thinking of making a meeting or two this week before I head back to NY. It's not really NY I need to touch NA base for, it's that trip to Columbus. It was sort of ok for me when my mom was planning on going but now things have changed and then Brittany got back in touch with me. I "turned her down" once and it's the closest thing to a regret I've had in my life... can/will/should I do it again? Decisions decisions, just go with the flow I spoze, but this flow might drown me... and then again death is what makes life interesting, so who the fuck knows. I could make a pro vs con list but it would be really one sided and I wouldn't want such concrete evidence as to what I should do. I'm making too big of a deal out of this, que sera sera, afterall.
I have a lot of shit I need to do before I fly out. Habi gets neutered tomorrow so no band practice for me again this week. while waiting to pick up Habi I'll be getting laundry done and cleaning up Eric's place (leave it better than you found it). I need to move the rest of my clothes over to my place and clean up over there too. I need to get my nails redone before I go. The one that kept breaking finally came all the way off last night. My real nail came with it (OUCH!) and then my finger was weird looking and smelly. I'm thinking after the NY trip I won't be keeping them. Maybe they're just too long, that's why I seem to catch them on everything. I'll have em cut shorter before NY and see if that makes a difference. I want to get my hair trimmed again. I also need to buy a few christmas presents and maybe some warm shirts or at least a new pair of jeans. I'm thinking I should hold off on clothes cuz I've lost another 8 pounds just in the last week I restarted atkins, also cuz my mom might have clothes for me or take me shopping (I'm not expecting much tho cuz she is flying me out there and all). Other crap I need to do: figure out why my light bill for the $140 deposit hasn't come yet and pay that (they said I had to pay the dep. within 2 weeks). I need to make sure my transcripts got to HCC and UofH, I have to talk to an HCC advisor and register for classes. I need to print out what it takes to get a degree from UofH and see if there's anything I should take at HCC that'll help out the degree thing, if not (which I'm suspecting is the case) Daniel said he wanted to pick my classes for me. If I can get As in classes I didn't even pick... impressive. Anyway I'll have to get him a link to the website and my registration password for him to do that. Classes dont start until the 19th of January so I won't need to worry about financial aid and paying tuition until after I get back hopefully. Also I need to see the food stamp people, they're spozed to mail me an appointment and I have a feeling it's gonna be for when I'm in NY so I'll have to walk in w/o appt and be there all damn day. I'm not in a hurry for the food stamps, I just wanna make sure I'll be able to get food when I come back from NY. The car needs a cleaning, an oil change and an inspection that's 6 mos overdue. That might have to wait till after. There's probably more I'm forgetting, though that's alot to do. Oh yeah, LOTR3 comes out Wednesday lol.
It really irritates me when people live in or around a big city for a long time and dont know where anythign is. Not so much the places, though that pisses me off too, but the streets. How can someone grow up in Houston and not know how to get across town. And dont give me any of that "but Houston is 100 miles across" bullshit. I've lived here a year and got it down fairly well. I'm complaining cuz a few of the haunted house guys called at 3:30 asking if I'd get them some vodka. It's been an hour and a half and theyre not here yet, though theyve called six times for directions. Men, sheesh. At least they asked direction though hahaha.
Always remember to quit while you're ahead.
I am a bipolar genius, child abuse & addiction survivor, who is now a single mother who works 70 hours a week and has had gastric-bypass weight loss surgery a year ago. Wish me luck cuz I need it!!!
Examples of My Insanity
Dead On Mental Health Quiz
Tuna Noodle Casserole Story
Explaining Myselves
Biting Off Redneck's Finger
Got So Crazy Scratched Til I Bled
How I Found Nirvana
Leaving Lon After 7 Years
Bad Luck On 3 July 4ths
Random Craziness (FBI Please Disregard)
How I Ended Up A Junky
Almost Getting Raped by a Marine
Typical Weekend in Ohio
How Cobain Saved My Life
How long could we maintain? I wondered. How long until one of us starts raving and jabbering at this boy? What will he think then? This same lonely desert was the last known home of the Manson family; will he make that grim connection when my attorney starts screaming about bats and huge manta rays coming down on the car? If so, well, we'll just have to cut his head off and bury him somewhere, 'cause it goes without saying that we can't turn him loose. He'd report us at once to some kind of outback Nazi law enforcement agency and they'll run us down like dogs. Jesus, did I say that? Or just think it? Was I talking? Did they hear me?
AFTER
WHAT'S MY NAME?!?