Defining Moments of My Life
if the lines were any longer they'd be circles

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if the lines were any longer they'd be circles
12.15.03 2:29 p.m.

I look very preppy today, blue button down men's shirt I stole from Eric (has a bleach spot on the back of the collar anyway), the shirt is from the GAP of all places hahaha, then a sweater over the shirt so that the collar and cuffs and hem are sticking out, docker type pants and my boots. I've been into the dress shirts lately, with the weight loss my top half is starting to look nicer while everything has shifted down to my bottom half. I've gone down 5 shirt sizes and no pant sizes, very fucking odd. Anyway I went to the three most ghetto places today all dressed up like this. Food stamp office, BMV and Walmart. All three included waiting in long-ass lines just so I can talk to someone who barely speaks english and has no idea how to help me out. At the food stamp place I managed to spend 2 and a half hours waiting to talk to someone who I thought was going to interview me for food stamps but in reality just told me that an appt slip would be mailed to me within 10 days, which is what they told me the LAST time I was there, and which is the whole fucking reason I came in today and explained to them that I was going away and couldn't keep the apt. I RE-explained this and the woman said that if I missed my appointment I'd have to come back in and reapply when I'm back in town. I had her write on my app that I cant have an appointment between Dec. 19th and Jan 4th and that my appointment must be in the morning cuz I work at 3:30. She kinda snorted as if to say "good luck" sarcastically. She asked if I had my last 4 pay stubs, I siad I've only received one so far and she tried to tell me I'd have to wait until I have 4, to which I said bullshit and then she changed her mind and said "Oh you JUST started this job, ok now I see" in her dumbass broken english. Now OK, I know no one wants to work in social services and the only people willing to do it are immigrants just happy to not have to sift through garbage heaps to find food and all but there is such a thing as the TOEFL, that's what the fucking thing is for for crissakes. Anyway I'm prolly gonna have to go through all this bullshit again in January and hope I have a job to come back to.... The BMV went a bit smoother, but I had to pay $10 to get the address changed on my license. At least she let me keep my old one, I was worried about not having a picture ID for the 50 times I'm gonna be "randomly selected" at the airport. I talked with a nice old woman while waiting in line, she made me miss my gramma. I should have waited and walked her out to her car cuz she tripped over the curb, luckily she didnt fall down but still I felt like a dumbass. Next stop was walmart for cat food and bank stuff. I needed to change my addyat the bank and also order some checks. I'm all out of the ones they started me with (10) cuz of all the transcripts I needed to mail. I also called about my missing electric bill today. I was told they dont send a bill for the deposit, I'm just magically supposed to know to mail them a check with my psychically inferred account # on it to an also psychically inferred address. Then they said I could make payment with one of my credit cards. "You don't own a credit card??" fucken bitch. So I still need to figure out how I'm paying that while I'm gone. The bank gave me good news, that someone would be able to deposit my paycheck for me as long as I have them write "For deposit only" on the back of it and I have a deposit slip filled out. I'll have Eric do that, that way I can call from NY to pay the electric deposit with a check-by-phone. In all, I got a lotta shit done this morning. Tomorrow I wait in another long-ass ghetto line at the community college to see about transcripts n shit so Daniel can pick out lame-ass classes like "Existential themes in Baroque Music". He's working on a phd in that shit right now. I still need to pack and get my nails redone, maybe a haircut, but I got most of the shit taken care of. And now it's "time to make the doughnuts".


Always remember to quit while you're ahead.

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About Me
I am a bipolar genius, child abuse & addiction survivor, who is now a single mother who works 70 hours a week and has had gastric-bypass weight loss surgery a year ago. Wish me luck cuz I need it!!!

Examples of My Insanity
Dead On Mental Health Quiz
Tuna Noodle Casserole Story
Explaining Myselves
Biting Off Redneck's Finger
Got So Crazy Scratched Til I Bled
How I Found Nirvana
Leaving Lon After 7 Years
Bad Luck On 3 July 4ths
Random Craziness (FBI Please Disregard)
How I Ended Up A Junky
Almost Getting Raped by a Marine
Typical Weekend in Ohio
How Cobain Saved My Life


How long could we maintain? I wondered. How long until one of us starts raving and jabbering at this boy? What will he think then? This same lonely desert was the last known home of the Manson family; will he make that grim connection when my attorney starts screaming about bats and huge manta rays coming down on the car? If so, well, we'll just have to cut his head off and bury him somewhere, 'cause it goes without saying that we can't turn him loose. He'd report us at once to some kind of outback Nazi law enforcement agency and they'll run us down like dogs. Jesus, did I say that? Or just think it? Was I talking? Did they hear me?


AFTER


WHAT'S MY NAME?!?