Defining Moments of My Life | ||
a denial | ||
Navigate Diary newest archives google hits quotes banners rings surveys based on diaryland
About Me
Holla Back
Links
Join my Windowlicker diary ring
This page brought to you by Bogart the best dog ever.
|
a denial 03.15.04 4:49 p.m.
Things arent going so well, very hard being the "subsevient", for anyone who knows me, they should understand what it's like for me being "someone's bitch". Though it's not THAT bad with Harlan, it is pretty close. He's flip-floppy, not as bad as Eric was but still one day Harlan talks of me getting out of my lease, moving in, asking if I'm on birth control and things like that... then one day he's telling me maybe it's not so smart for me to be hanging around him.... The days when he tries to "force" me out, it's more of a low self-esteem thing I think, he repeats "I'm just going to hurt you and ruin your life like everyone else's..." I don't know, paranoid about whether he even cares about me, cuz he only said that I Love You in a round-a-bout drunken way once, but there are small things that show he cares, and then there are more examples for him not caring, I don't know. I'm really sick of trying like this, and the problems just compound the guilt and overall "badness" with what I did to/with Lon. I wonder if it'll ever be like that again, that good, I don't know. I shouldnt be getting into shit like this at work. I need to start eating more and taking care of myself better... one of these days. Always remember to quit while you're ahead. |
About Me I am a bipolar genius, child abuse & addiction survivor, who is now a single mother who works 70 hours a week and has had gastric-bypass weight loss surgery a year ago. Wish me luck cuz I need it!!! Examples of My Insanity
|