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I feel like shit today. Since getting of h my periods have been very painful, before using I'd hardly get them and they were light/sporadic, after stopping the h they came more regularly and with a vengeance. I think maybe it has to do with having little natural painkillers left in my body.... Anyway I was three weeks late this time and starting to worry, not that Harlan necessarily would have made a bad DNA donor -maybe both parents being psychopaths would nullify the mental illnesses...- plus I'd been spotting since the "smackdown" session with Harlan, which was about when I was supposed to get it last. I think the reason this one hurts even more than what they have been in the last year and a half off smack is from all the stomping he did on me. It feels like I'm still being stomped actually. I already threw up once and I'm still very dizzy. My IT guys keep cancelling out of the research study and I dont know what to do. There's an inherent flaw in recruiting them for studies anyway, it's like trying to schedule an emergency room doctor who's on-call... of course there are going to be emergencies and they'd have higher cancellation rates. For those doctors it's not so frowned upon when that shit happens so hopefully they feel the same about my IT guys cancelling. I have 4 more projects coming up with the same client as the last 4 projects, and they can't participate in more than one study for the same client. I've had 7 cancellations in the last two projects alone, and I "only" needed to recruit 12 people total.... I just wanna go home and smoke a bowl and not puke. Or at least let me get back to tracking down damn oncologists who see more than 30 adjuvent breast cancer patients a month in which 50% or more receive a taxane. Much easier than these IT guys. OH my student loan company wants me to start paying $246 on one loam and $148 on the other, per month HAHAHAHAHAHAHA I gotta download the income contingent forms right now.

Always remember to quit while you're ahead.

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