Defining Moments of My Life
the painter

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the painter
05.03.04 12:43 p.m.

Seems I'm turning into quite the little slut. I haven't been writing much in here about it but anyway, yeah. The stripper, the watermelon, the terrorist... and now the painter. He's "in his 50's", some old hippie native american guy that I posed for. I get to pick my two fave paintings, theyre actually pretty good, he paints kinda like Crumb draws, he gets the honesty of how I look but also makes me look better too.... So anyway... I'm also turning into quite the psychopath as well, the no feelings and no remorse... training myself, it seems, for some future hardship... possibly something to do with Lon not contacting me. I think too much, and the walls I'm building back up are helping keep me occupied so that I don't think. I told Cindy last night, she's the one that hooked me up with the psycho painter (his nickname is Mad Max, and he took me to a storage unit to paint me "It puts the lotion on!"). I figure I'll only date guys that I know for sure will hurt me, that way I dont have to worry about it happening. I'm also playing with fire again, the painter can get opium, says he gets it all the time. He had really good dro yesterday and I could taste the opium in the pipe so I asked how often he smokes, he said as much and as often as possible, but he didnt make it over to his dude's house cuz of all the bad storms we had all weekend. He says he's tried H "back in the day" but never shot and never would. I didnt tell him I wanted any opium but I'm sure I'll see him again and he's bound to bring it up, we still aren't done painting. Again I keep winning the lottery... yippee.


Always remember to quit while you're ahead.

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About Me
I am a bipolar genius, child abuse & addiction survivor, who is now a single mother who works 70 hours a week and has had gastric-bypass weight loss surgery a year ago. Wish me luck cuz I need it!!!

Examples of My Insanity
Dead On Mental Health Quiz
Tuna Noodle Casserole Story
Explaining Myselves
Biting Off Redneck's Finger
Got So Crazy Scratched Til I Bled
How I Found Nirvana
Leaving Lon After 7 Years
Bad Luck On 3 July 4ths
Random Craziness (FBI Please Disregard)
How I Ended Up A Junky
Almost Getting Raped by a Marine
Typical Weekend in Ohio
How Cobain Saved My Life


How long could we maintain? I wondered. How long until one of us starts raving and jabbering at this boy? What will he think then? This same lonely desert was the last known home of the Manson family; will he make that grim connection when my attorney starts screaming about bats and huge manta rays coming down on the car? If so, well, we'll just have to cut his head off and bury him somewhere, 'cause it goes without saying that we can't turn him loose. He'd report us at once to some kind of outback Nazi law enforcement agency and they'll run us down like dogs. Jesus, did I say that? Or just think it? Was I talking? Did they hear me?


AFTER


WHAT'S MY NAME?!?