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OK there's this shit they sell at clubs called Alize', which is french for overpriced crap. 16% alcohol, 12 oz bottle is $7.50, so nto fucking worth it. it;s like passion fruit cranberry and congac, YUCK, dont ask me why I got two of them. Good tyhing Im back here with mom;s pills! oh doctor... I ate some chicken and rice at loeast, it's been mostly spinach and crap for me. But you know what? I'm gonna be fucking hot and get whatever I want without having to give hardly anything in return. So you I feel cheap and empty, I felt that way when I was supposedly in a committed, long term, lovey dovey relationship.... And speaking of, LON... I'm gettign sick of ebing woken up before 10 am by the private investigator your dad hired to track you down. Now that she knows I'm in NY she thinks I'm just gonna start rummaging around for you... your dad only wants a mailing addy for you and I guess was thinking of visiting you... so why dont you save him some time and trouble and money by giving him a fucking address for you OK? ReaLLY, why you gotta make everybody worry??? Just fucking tell him, ok? I said to my mom "yeah ok you were a horrible mom, but you never wanted kids, you tried and they said you couldnt and then years later you wound up pregnant so I dont blame you though if you really didnt want me you shoulda aborted me but anyway you tried your best and given trhe circumstancezs it coulda been much worse, I mean if I had kids theyd be all fucked up too so I guess you did OK, I'm still alive anyway..." it's not his fault fucked up shit happened to you and maybe if youd tell him "hey fucked up shit happened to me" maybe he'd understand where you're coming from but for now he thinks you're pimping yourself out for crack or something so do us all a favor and call n talk with your dad, OK? For real, it's not funny. I fyou dont wanna talk to your dad at keast leave a message saying that you're OK and you'll talk to him to explain shit sometime soon but for now you need time to yourself and you're not using drugs again (that's what he thinks) aND you'll be ok.... Also maybe you should hit me up on my cell cuz I got like no friends here and Im trying really hard to stay outta trouble and I have no one to talk to and you were the person that understood me the most. And I feel guilty that you got the crappy psycho version of me and not the nearly-normal joey, the halfway decent, halfway sexy me.... I've always been a victim of bad timing, you know that. I don't know why you won't contact me. OK I do know why, but it's a lame reason. I don't expect rainbows or fairytale endings, I just need a friend. There's something I never told you cuz I figured it didnt matter that much cuz we'd be together forever and there was always time to make it OK but we weren't together forever and there isnt time and now that thing is too much for me to handle and I need to tell you I think. I always though there'd be time. Time wasnt the enemy that it is these days. I'm sorry I couldn't be better for you. I'm sorry.

Always remember to quit while you're ahead.

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