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"Would you like cream cheese on your bagel, sir?"

So, OK, that's not how I'm supposed to wear the work uniform, but I'd probably sell a lot more coffee that way.

Here's my kick-ass visor:

Not too bad of a uniform. My favorite bit is the belt though, thick, black, rawhide... coulda used this LAST week ; ) Not that it won't get an opportunity to be used in the future or anything. I've taken to wearing it every day, wondering why I was so against belts, but guessing that change has to do with the weight loss. And I keep losing. It's like someone passed by on the street and whispered "thinner" in my ear. I know it gets old, hearing about how hot I'm gonna be n all, but seriously there will be no stopping me. Lance Armstrong ain't got brains like mine, Ken on Jeopardy got Mormon morality, and the Energizer Bunny definitely doesn't have pussy control. I'll be set.

It wasn't, by the way, such a good idea to walk the six miles to East Lake Road today.

I almost didn't make it. OK that's not true, but about 7/8 of the way there, like I had one more corner to round till I'd see the farmhouse, and I started thinking "maybe this wasnt such a good idea, Joe" and I hoped that one of Geoff's roomies would pass by on their way home from work and pick me up and wouldn't you know it, two seconds later Johnny passed by and I said outloud "Ok Johnny, see me in the rearview and pick me up" and he did a U-ie and picked me up. "Lemme guess where you're headed..." "Probably the same place you are!" I get in the car "So to what do we owe the pleasure?" "I'm bringing over the last of his shit..." "How much shit did he leave at your place?" "Well it was kind of all over the place and it was.. um... short notice that he was even leaving at all so he never um... came back... so it wasn't gathered all up or anything so I keep finding shit in drawers, the dryer, hangin up... etc" "Ahh... (seconds pass) You know, you're too sweet for how you got done" "Yeah, no shit, I be aight though, always am. Can't compete with a wife..., lesson learned, it wont happen again." "But still.... Well anyway, you're welcome at the farmhouse whenever, nice to have a woman around to even things out... specially if you're gonna keep doing the dishes... haha" And we come into the kitchen and seriously they ain't been done since I did em last. And I'm thinking but didnt say "I didn't walk across town to do your dishes, one of you boys is gonna have to put out!" I thought it and kinda giggled cuz right then one of the cuter, younger guys that hangs out there walks into the kitchen and gives me the old NY headnod and says to Johnny "Please tell me she does dishes" I cut in and said "No, but I got some trees that need smoking" "Even better" Ron, the youngest roommate, the one who's only had sex twice in his life, the one that has his bedroom right under Geoff's ETC, Ron has the bong and water pipe and glass pipe and all that good stuff in his room, I knock on the door and walk in and he's packing a bowl listening to Muddy Banks of the Wishkah and he says "Joey, I musta known you were coming!" Very cute. I like Ron the best cuz he used to be over 300 pounds, now at 190-200 prolly, and he totally understands what I'm going through and has said many a time "dammit you gotta keep goin cuz you'll be so hot" and I tell him the same thing, also he's only had sex twice and the fact that no girls have totally fucked him over yet so he isn't a complete asshole yet... still halfway decent. But as Janet and I figured out the other day, I can't name one guy I know, or whom I have ever known, who isn't an asshole, Ron is the closest I'd say. So we smoked and smoked and I STILL have weed to get rid of. I really do need to stop smoking, they do random tests a lot in NY. Ron just had to give his two week notice cuz of a drug test. Too bad companies dont see how much money they're wasting by testing for and firing over weed.

OK I need to get to bed before it gets too warm for me to sleep well. I'm getting a bike tonight, I knew my mom would cave when she had to get up at 1:45am to drive me into work. I woulda walked but I have a blood blister taking up the balls of my left foot, also my knee has been giving out on me all week. I'm sure all the drunken cavorting and deck-diving-onto-parking-lots didn't help. The walks should build muscle and help strengthen it, but until I get more walks in it's just gonna be sore and weak. My titties got sunburned today walking across town. Nothing else, just my boobs. They're closer to the sun than my nose, I suppose.

Always remember to quit while you're ahead.

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