**REGISTER TO VOTE ONLINE!** **SIGN DARFUR ACTION PETITION HERE!!**

---

I had to manipulate myself out of the mania in order to sleep. When controling my bipolar symptoms it's usually the other way around with me fighting my way out of a depression by means up caffeine jump starts and things like that. Today, trying to kick in depression so I'd crash and be able to sleep, not too fucken pretty. I reread half of the Geoff posts and spent time with Boggy. It worked, of course, cuz it's not THAT hard to make me sad, and I slept for ten hours, just waking up about 15 minutes ago. I was woken up once during my sleep when my gramma called and asked me to call my mom to get her to pick up gram to take her for her prescriptions. Mom said she had to work until 8:30 (Lie cuz she called from Adrian's when I woke up) and she called gramma and I guess talked her out of needed her medicine, which is totally fucked up but I am not in the condition to deal with it right now.

I cant believe I'm going to work tonight feeling like this, I better get two pain pills from my mom. I can barely bend my knee, it's the left one, the "bad" one, the one witht he bruises and scrapes on it and the same leg that has the three rectangular bruises going down it. It's like 3 separate injuries all within a square foot of my body. And it hurts. Talking won't fix it though, right? I havent tried any kind of stretching in the past week because of how I've been feeling. My knee isnt the only ouchy, my heels from standing on mother fucking cement with no pads at the store, and the balls of my feet with blisters, the other knee isnt too pretty either, and my back... my shoulders... but I've had days where I thought my HAIR hurt, so it's not that bad. Maybe I'll get some gel inserts for my boots, some food and pain pills in my tummy (I havent been eatiing), and things wont SEEM as bad. I seriously do not know what day it is.

In doing something about my life, I got online and checked out the 4 year degree programs the Empire State College has to offer. It's a state college for fuck ups and retards, slackers who got like 80% of a degree done and need another year, or chance.... They have "make your own degrees" too, they'll tailor it to what you already have. Which seems ultra-promising seeing I have 200 credits, and they dont line up so well in traditional degree programs. I dont know why I cant just take a test, like a GED for college, or they cant go by IQ or SOMETHING, it really is ridiculous that I don't have a degree. I could teach ESL or adult ed/GED ANYWHERE I FUCKING WANT and not be stuck in this bullshit life! So, they only have a representative at the school here a couple times a week. I dont know if I'll start this semester (Aug 28) or what. I dont think I can handle both new things at the same time. Which means working this job until... I cant even think it, cuz it's making me nauseous. And it's almost time for me to make the donuts.

Oh, I forgot, the dining room is open ALL NIGHT. Some punk kid with no front teeth (ALL 4!) came in with his friends, he was at Joey or Neil level while his friends were not. He assaulted my flowers and beat up my balloons, his friends apologized and I said "No problem, I usually act like that too" and one girl said "Yeah I know" A coworker came through so I couldnt chat much longer and as she walked away she says to the group of friends "Dont you remember her deck diving at the Lumberyard?" ~oh crap how many peiople saw that~ "I slipped!" "uh huh!" nice kids. No Teeth managed to not fuck up my bathroom, so he can keep what teeth he has, for now.

Always remember to quit while you're ahead.

last :: next