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Well that was the longest 4 hour shift I ever worked. Oh yeah, that might be because I was there for 7 hours...! I guess I didn't notice it yesterday but the other overnight baker walked out around 4:30 am. We were short tonight and so I stayed. I didnt know I'd be staying past two and I had the van so momcalled around 5am and they let me leave after I swept and did trash. Candice, who I thought was a snooty bitch, well she sorta is, but she's not as lazy anymore. She apologized for dickin me the night she went home, and also said that she woulda helped out more the first couple nights but she was sick with some stomach flu type crap. We talked a bit tonight, she's not that bad, for instance while rolling up turkey for sammiches she says "I wish I was rollin soemthin else, wink wink" I just did the NY head nod.

Officer Bells came in tonight, eyes lit up when I came out from the back. He's older than I thought, like Eric's age, let's hope he doesn't act ten years older than that like Eric did. Anyway I chatted with him for as long as the supervisor would allow, with an "ahem" and the NY Nod meaning "get yer ass back to work" and an apology from the officer to her for keeping me tied up (and I thought, "no no I like being tied up" lol). Also got flirted with by a boy in a Deftones tee shirt and a dude my age with a beard and curly brown hair, blue eyes, who REALLY likes NIRVANA. "I wish they'd release Unplugged on DVD" he says "Actually, I have a tape of the master copy... it'll be a minute before I can copy it but I'll get ya one no problem." "HOLY SHIT! Can I have your number?" Same supervisor was around to cockblock me again. "I cant do that" (eyes gesture to supervisor) "but I'm here almost every night so we can figure something out later."

Prett called me about 50 times while I was sleeping today. I finally called him back bout 8pm. He was drunk as shit, said he'd been drinking all day. He was like "Guess how drunk I am?" "I dunno, how drunk are you?" "Guess which scorpion I have crawling on my bare chest?" "I dunno Prett, which one?" "Both! I wanna see which one's tougher, the Emperor or the African 'whatever it's called'(Prett knew the name I cant remember, its some kind that had to be smuggled into the country cuz theyre way deadly etc)" "So you got two pissed off deadly scorpions on yer titties right now? I'd say yer pretty drunk bro. Lemme tell ya bout the night I fell off the lumberyard balcony face planted the parking lot, got up, went 'wooh' and walked to another bar then in the morning I woke up with one shoe on in bed fully clothed and then when I went outside in the front lawn next to an imprint of my body in the grass was my other shoe" "black converse?" "damn skippy" (end scene)

oh I need a car. I just saw Prett and I miss him already. Ya know as soon as he left Houston, Harlan and I started having problems, and as soon as he left here Geoff and I broke up or whatever. And thinking back, when he moved out from living with me and Lon... hmmmm, maybe I need my bro around. I fucken miss Janet all to hell too. Gotta get wheels so I can visit. I'll be set though, whenever mom gets back from Singapore (she goes mid sept to mid oct) [holy cow the pain pills are kicking in on top of empty stomach and being dizzy from work, woah having trouble typing, also fingers cold, shivering still] her and I will be moving, or maybe sooner, I dunno. She wants to buy a house here in Canandaigua, but this one has to sell first. She says if I buy my food and pay my bills, (like half the cell phone and then the cable/road runner bill) then I wont have to pay rent, which will help heaps cuz with gas and insurance on a car and paying off my court fines and whatnots I wont have anything left from my paycheck for rent. It'll be the first time in my life where I'll have spending money and no drug addiction, imagaine that. I also have a feeling boss lady will bump me up to $7 an hour at the end of thsi month, maybe more once she figures I'm management worthy, which oughtta be really soon. I hope my body starts feeling better though, I could be doing better at work, I mean I'm already kicking ass, but I could be karate kicking ass if I was top o' my game.

But the body gets worse before it gets better, of course. Started my period and got sunburned the same day. Well not sunburned, tanning bed burned... which is a whole other form of torture I can now say I've put myself through. My mom says that they must've just switched the bulbs, (ahh thats what that cute guy was doing with those tools, and I thought he was installing web cams... "that's my idea! you better cut me in biatch, least let me watch for free!" is what I thought when I saw the boy with the tool belt and cardboard boxes.) so I'm very red with two white lines going down my back just like Heather had when it happened to her. My butt didnt burn though, but my titties did. : ( and that's a lotta ouchy. It's not like I can go without a bra. Pink Cleavage. The other parts of me are getting tan and I dont like it. I always have been fond of my alabaster complexion, but must fit in, like hunter in the tree the deer wont see what hit them.... Anyway I keep catching myself thinking "gasp, I'm thin, eat something" seriously that's my first reaction/thought to looking down and seeing my leg be not fucking huge, or my muscular arm when I left all the trash out of the cans in the store. The tan accentuates the muscle tone, and it's slimming too. So my reactionary thought is that it's not right and I should eat something, reverse anorexia... but I've always had a constant paranoia of not having enough to eat, comes from back in the day when I didn't... also just from being poor and so damn picky with food and when I get something good that I like I gorge on it. Anyway, I need to recognize the thought and change it to "what a fine mother fucker I'm turning into" or "damn girl, pretty soon you'll be wearing leather cat suits to small town grocery shop just like you always dreamed!" hot diggity, half way there, downhill, momentum rolling.

When I logged onto MSN they had this thing (I usually dont read or click anything but this caught my eye) 8 practice questions from the new SAT Math test. I got all mother fucken 8 of em right! For those that dont think this is amazing you must not know how horrible I am with math. They were abstract questions too. Some trig, linear equations, point slope, absolute value, functions, an easy one with prime and even numbers though the rest of the q's were hard. OK not that hard even cuz it only took me a couple minutes and I did it all in my head too. That gives me hope about finally passing a god damned college level algebra class, and if I get through the mental road block with math maybe I can pick up where I left off on that science/forensics degree idea of mine. Hell yeah, I'm pretty proud of myself, keep it up Jo... don't fuck up, do not fuck this up... this is the best Ive ever been and every day I'm better than yesterday...

Always remember to quit while you're ahead.

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