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One thing I forgot to mention that Prett and I talked about is that he asked how Geoff and I are doing. I said "Well... I told you how he fell down on the kitchen floor crying, begging me to help him quit drinking... so I did that, got him sober, and then he went back to his wife." "Ouch. You really liked him too... AND he was awesome" "No shit." "You can do better Jo, you been hittin hotties, now get hot RICH guys or somethin" "I have..." "Uh oh, who's this new guy" "Nah, just for a couple nights, actually, you heard of the Donahue twins?" "You fucked a Donahue? It better have been Dale cuz the other one's a fucken fruitloop." "How do you know em?" "Worked with Dale at Pactiv for good bit. By the way nice work there sis, pretty studly, like every fucken chick at the plant was all over that dude, so how'd THAT happen" "umm, it wasn't Dale..." "Figures you'd go for the basket case Jo..." and then I filled him in on the details. Me and Prett don't have a brother-sister relationship, it's like we have a brother-brother bond. I can't really explain it, but the two of us been through some rough fucken shit together, we're like POW/war buddies or something, I'd definitely carry a pocketwatch around in my ass for that mofo, ya know? Anyway my brother's the shit, I miss him heaps. Mohawk muttonchops n all.

I'm getting ready to leave work this morning and am tying up my second uniform (thank ford) so that I can ride my bike home without the bag tangling up and what not and one of the owners, Mark (aka bossman, his wife Sheri aka bosslady) runs out "I wanted to thank you before you left" "okay..." "I've been doing days and haven't had a chance to work with you but I hear great things from all the other trainers on how well you're doing, and then Sher tells me how much you've been saving our asses around here, working your night off and coming in early and staying late on other days, without complaint, and you've always got such a great attitude with the customers and just EVERYBODY. The district manager keeps asking us if you're for real and not our daughter or something, he says that he's never seen anyone like you, so gung-ho and agreeable, anyway I just wanted to thank you for helping us with the store, it means so much to my wife and I, we were sooo nervous starting our own business, we've got like our children's college fund invested int hsi place, and we sleep better knowing we have an employee like you taking care of things for us when we're not here, and to have someone to count on when people call off or walk out... anyway, just thanks!" "okayyyyy.. thank you for noticing..." "oh, one more thing, we promise not to call you today if we need an extra person" "if you call everyone else and they cant do it, call my cell..." "You're unbelievable, now go home and get some sleep" "I will, you have a nice day!"

I keep being paranoid that I'm not losing weight. With all the fucken work and exercise I've been getting the last two weeks, I better have lost some. But then again since I started working there I been having soup almost every night during break. 50% discount rocks, soup and sammiches are like ALL I ever wanna eat (besides cereal and italian food) and being on atkins for so long it's like I cant eat anything I like (but cheese, "I like cheese" LOL), so I been chowin down on the soup. Chili in a motherfucking bread bowl baby, that's what I'm talking about. But I seriously bust my ass there, besides the 30 minute break for lunch (no two ten minutes int here at all) I don't get one second to just chill, fucking stop moving, lean against something and sigh. We did three times the amount of sales tonight than any night so far, and it was for the most part just me out front. I didn't even get some of my duties done. See besides the whole waiting on customers, bussing tables, cleaning (sweep, mop and bristle brush the grout) and stocking dining room, and doing drive thru, I ALSO sweep mop and clean the bathrooms and behind the counter area, make and dump coffee every 20 minutes, wash dishes, clean, stock (meaning wrap meats, cut veggies, nuke bacon etc) and change out the sandwich station into nice clean bins which has 25 bins of different meats and cheeses and cream cheeses and veggies etc, stock dishes and stuff for us back in the prep area (silverware, plastic utensils and take out bowls, cups, salt n pepper, napkins, rubber gloves, wax papers, straws, ice, etc), clean all the slicers and gadgets we use, I de-lyme or what I call "snake" the coffee machines, of which there are 6, where I gotta break em down and shove a long spring thingy inside it, then fuck the machine with it till near-boiling water pours out all over my hand and arm releasing the build-up, I gotta take the temps of all 25 bins in the salad station supposedly every two hours, making sure the cold stuff is between 35 and 39.9 degrees, then I gotta do that to the 8 soups, which I also gotta keep stocked, as well as the bacon, the soup has to be between 140 and 180, 165 being ideal, and I adjust temps (ice baths for cold stuff, turn down heat for hot stuff) this all has to be documented, I gotta clean out the soup heaters, which are three hot water troth thingies, gotta clean out the soda dispensers and change syrup as needed, clean out and refill the cappucinno machines, clean and refill the ice cap machines... gather and take out trash, count the daily throws (left over food) then I throw everything away and scrub out the cases (next time youre in a donut shop check out how much shit is in the display case bottom), they bring the donuts out hot so there's glaze/frosting/powder everyFUCKINGwhere, the showcases are HUGE, I crawl inside them to clean them... anyway it's unfuckenbelievable the shit I do there. And how quickly I've learned how to do it. So it meant a lot what bossman said today. Hopefully he's not just blowin smoke up my ass like Jim at Opinions Unlimited. Hopefully they do put me through some kind of management training. I like food service, hated it when I was a kid, diggin on it now. But then again I think my body has finally started to produce endorphins from exercise, it's finally giving in "ok ok I get it, you're not gonna just GIVE me happy chemicals anymore, I guess I gotta MAKE my own sheesh" and I'm likign the fact that I bust my ass.

In a big topic change, ix-nay on the whole getting my eriod-pay. Like I got the symptoms, weight gain, slight bitchiness, then the energy boost, the hunger (I get mad apetite and also crave dairy), the pimples, even a lil spotting... but no real bleeding (male readers are like "ewww skip to next paragraph") so this is making me a bit nervous about the whole broken condom thing with psycho-twin. But ya know something, when I started spotting and thinking I was getting my period, I was only a little relieved, I actually felt a little sad, or maybe even more than a little, I guess about a 50/50 sad to relieved ratio. So this is an interesting turn of events. Who knows? We'll wait a little while and get a test. I dont want to freak anyone out right away with "Yo mom lemme get $30 for a pregnancy test" I dunno how much they are, never needed one. (Well... ok... things cant be said here. It'll all make sense hopefully sometime soon.) But anyway I wouldnt mind that much if I was pregnant, besides the whole it not being Lon's and not having the happily ever after I imagined it'd be like with him, but if I'm not having that life then I want nothing like it, ya know, all or nothing I guess. I couldnt ever imagine marrying anyone else, or having a baby with anyone else. In fact when I started my "slutty-phase" I decided if I ever got pregnant that I wouldnt even tell the guy. I'm not marrying someone just cuz they donated 23 chromosomes. And I'm not having some manwhore be the piss-poor father figure to my child, and having to have contact and some sort of relationship/friendship co-parental duties with some douche bag, when all he had to offer me was a six pack of abs and nine thick inches what's he got to offer a baby? Cuz my baby is falling asleep listening to classical music and then educational kid songs and finally books on tape... and my kid is getting to do anything it wants and everything I didnt get to do and is getting spoiled fucking rotten and is getting love and encouragement beyond belief, and no man, not even its father, is gonna tell me how to raise MY kid. The only thing a man is good for is 23 chromosomes and until I meet one that proves me wrong I can't think otherwise. Kindergartener with a mohawk, you have no fucking idea.

More topic changes: Yesterday as I was typing there was a "skeeter eater" in the window trying to find its way out of the house. And I thought to get up and open the screen for it but something interrupted me and it didnt happen. So this morning it's laying on the floor dead from starvation or exhaustion or something, and I feel really fucking bad about it. What's up with that? I spent a long fucking time tryign to escape... and that's the worst feeling to me, being helpless and trapped, confined.... I guess cuz I notcied it and it was my responsibility to do something about it, and it didn't get done, I also feel bad. I really need to stop eating meat. It'll happen, it will. That's the next change though. I've learned through experience that I cant change everything at the same time. It's like road construction, if the city has fifteen fucking projects going at the same time it takes fucking forever for the roads to open and there's 15 of them closed instead of just one, and then it causes MAJOR traffic build up everywhere else. So with me trying to start work, and finish school, and not be mental and kill myself and stay off hard drugs, and keep active and motivated and work the diet and get in shape etc etc etc... I cant do all of that at the same time. I got a good bit of the diet done but not so much to where I can make a huge switch like going vegitarian would be, and I dont have time for the committment and education I'd need to do it successfully. But it is next on the list, and it will get done.

Topic #6 Been having very weird dreams lately, the one I remember most was me throwing knives at Geoff, like we were in one of those circus acts where someone's on a spinning wheel getting knives thrown at them. I was a damn hottie too in the vegas show girl outfit, leather though, leather with sequins and feathers, funky hat huge plume sticking up and whatnots, I remember how my boobs would bounce in the boustier when I'd throw the knives, how HUGE the knives were, shiny and penis-like, and the look in Geoff's eyes like he didnt wanna be there.

Topic #7. FINALLY Daniel started to read Brave New World. This book oughtta be manditory. He's loving it like I knew he would. I made HUGE bonus points with him, he was quite impressed that first off such a cool book would be on my top 5 list and also that I had beat him to it, that I had read this in 97 and that he's just now experiencing it. "It changed my life" I told him, "No shit, I can't believe how fucking good this is, please please don't blow it for me and give away the ending." "I wouldnt dream of it danyo-son" then we went on to talk of my job and how he's glad I wont have to pay any rent cuz then I can afford to fly out there and "visit" him. "Your parents pay for anything you charge on your credit card, you want me out there so badly, you buy the ticket" "no way jose, you gotta EARN it" LOL, who does he think he is? Please. Y'ain't nothin more than 23 chromosomes, and you don't even got a six pack OR nine inches. Psh.

I guess that's (finally) all I got to say. Boggy's doing better today. I could probably get some sleep in since he wouldnt be bugging me but I plan on staying up all day and night, I need a fucking day to do shit and to shop. No point in having a job if all I'm doing is working, ya know? I wanna go by the bike shop and get better tires and a basket and other items to help pimpify my bike. It's fucken sweet tho, lowrider, something you'd see some essay hispanic gang member cruisin on. Maybe I'll name it Cuban-B offa my fave character in Half Baked. I wanna take gramma to dinner, wanna go by the guitar store and put up the flyer I made abotu vanpooling to warped tour... shit liek that, the important stuff. Also motherfucking karaoke tonight and I'ma get SLOSHED. Still gotta think of what i want to sing. Danzig and some frilly chick song to show off my kickass lungs. I also wanna get a bag of trees. Anyway, I need to do something... constant motion all night, my brain is like "we gotta MOOOOOOOVE" so I'm gonna get moooooooovin.

Always remember to quit while you're ahead.

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