Defining Moments of My Life
got some shit done yesterday, more will be done today

**REGISTER TO VOTE ONLINE!** **SIGN DARFUR ACTION PETITION HERE!!**




got some shit done yesterday, more will be done today
08.12.04 8:14 a.m.

Flipped out on my mom yesterday and she flipped out right back at me. I have two work uniforms and they were both dirty. Mind you, they spozed to be clean, collars starched, creases ironed into the pant legs, DAILY... sheuh, right. So I called her yesterday before I fell asleep, and she said she'd be home at 5:30 and I could do my laundry. Well... at NINE motherfucking TEN she gets home and is like "Where's your laundry, why dont you have it ready, they stop letting people do it at 9 ya know!" You cannot comprehend the frustration. I just want to see her bleed. Not from this just, no that would be retarded, but the million, kajillion other little things she's done, and the dozen or so huge things that puts her on the top of my ZPL. And not only see her bleed, I'd fucken slow-cook some Jiffy Pop, pull up a Lazyboy, and watch her decompose.

But enough of that. Supposedly she's getting off work early (she's doing some extra ass-kissing now of course, showing up at my work right when I'm getting off, all smiles and "do you need a ride home") to take me to get that bank account opened and to run any other errands that I need ran. I cannot stand living with her, our mental illnesses rub the wrong way, friction that starts fires. Maybe Gary will want to get an apartment with me. What I'd really like though, is to live with the guys at the farmhouse. $1200 a month divided by however many are living there, $300 a month I guess. Fuck, I'd live in the fucking basement, and that has shed off snake skins STUCK in spider webs (wait, my kind of place, seriously that was so rad finding that, and right behind the drum set too). I get such good vibes from that place, and really nothing (or not much) to do with Geoff, cuz I felt it the few times there when he wasn't, after he went back to the wife (I was nice and deleted crackhead, -whoops guess not-), pretty close to the same vibes I get from Blue Limestone, back in Delaware, OH, course those were evil vibes, and the farmhouse is good, but the same intensity, the same usefullness to me. Anyway I'm talking nonsense. Janet understands though. Forever and ever. We don't even need words. Now what was I talking about, oh yeah, moving... I need to live with people, preferably boys, not fucking them or anything like that but definitely people who need cooking and cleaning done for them to get this whole wanting to be a mother thing out of my system. I dont think it's going to go away this time though. I'm still late by the way. I need to get my shit together.

I got some stuff done yesterday, a couple things I listed in the entry can be counted as complete. Found a website for parking ticket info for Columbus, seeing the phone line says "We're open from 7 am to 7pm M-F and Saturday 9-5" and when you hit the choice to speak to someone to find out how much yer ticket is it goes "Sorry, our office is now closed, please call back during normal business hours!" then hangs up on you and you're like "but it's 10am MOTHER FUCKER, your office is OPEN!!" I also mailed in my plea for that ticket in Corfu. Will pay the seatbelt one for here in Canandaigua tomorrow when I get my check. Will pay the other ones as they arrive in the mail. Ohio one I might be able to pay over the phone or thru the website. They cant have someone answer the phone but they have a fucking website?!! stupid ohioans.

I also baked a chocolate cake for my gramma, who'll most likely say "aint I fat enough, Jo, and you too for that matter" and I'll lie and say I made it with apple sauce and egg whites so she wont feel guilty eating it. I don't even know if she likes chocolate, I know that I don't like it much and so it's less tempting, also I like stuff before I cook it, cookie dough better than cookies, batter better than brownies. "But there's raw eggs in there" Lon would bitch, "Cross contamination!" Oh I miss him. But we're not gonna go there today. My mania is nice today, I think I'll keep it.


Always remember to quit while you're ahead.

last :: next
About Me
I am a bipolar genius, child abuse & addiction survivor, who is now a single mother who works 70 hours a week and has had gastric-bypass weight loss surgery a year ago. Wish me luck cuz I need it!!!

Examples of My Insanity
Dead On Mental Health Quiz
Tuna Noodle Casserole Story
Explaining Myselves
Biting Off Redneck's Finger
Got So Crazy Scratched Til I Bled
How I Found Nirvana
Leaving Lon After 7 Years
Bad Luck On 3 July 4ths
Random Craziness (FBI Please Disregard)
How I Ended Up A Junky
Almost Getting Raped by a Marine
Typical Weekend in Ohio
How Cobain Saved My Life


How long could we maintain? I wondered. How long until one of us starts raving and jabbering at this boy? What will he think then? This same lonely desert was the last known home of the Manson family; will he make that grim connection when my attorney starts screaming about bats and huge manta rays coming down on the car? If so, well, we'll just have to cut his head off and bury him somewhere, 'cause it goes without saying that we can't turn him loose. He'd report us at once to some kind of outback Nazi law enforcement agency and they'll run us down like dogs. Jesus, did I say that? Or just think it? Was I talking? Did they hear me?


AFTER


WHAT'S MY NAME?!?