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Alrighty then. Where the fuck to start? I'm fucking sick, first of all. Probably an upper respiratory thing. It doesnt feel as bad as the bronchitis did all last summer, but it does feel like Hell is inside my chest. I woke up around 11pm, and had slept about 12 hours, which is great except that I was supposed to work from 2-10pm tonight. Even without the cold I wouldnt have been able to make it in anyway, I had only stopped drinking at 10 am and the mushrooms didnt wear off until about 5pm. Yeah yeah, I know... what can ya do?

So last night while in the throws of drunken trippyness I manage to get outside on Seaton's smoking deck and cave in on myself. I hadn't reacted to the email from Lon at all. When I opened that shit, read it once, copied and pasted it to the diary, reread it, then I totally forgot that shit as in "whatthefuckever I aint got time to deal right now, the last five minutes of my life did not happen". And that was a week ago I guess, whenever it was. So the stars are spinning and it's very cold out but Im a furnace... the fever may have helped too but anyway, the coldness was very lonely, if you get what I mean. And I start thinking (bad idea) and I was out there crying for a good 20 minutes. I could hear Seaton at the door "no, you cant go out there and smoke yet" and then he thought I'd had enough introspection and brought me to the side of the house and talked to me for a long time. Very beautiful.

And a party just walked in the door so I gotta go. yeah yeah, I know, what can ya do?

Always remember to quit while you're ahead.

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