Defining Moments of My Life
shrooms

**REGISTER TO VOTE ONLINE!** **SIGN DARFUR ACTION PETITION HERE!!**




shrooms
10.09.04 12:24 a.m.

Alrighty then. Where the fuck to start? I'm fucking sick, first of all. Probably an upper respiratory thing. It doesnt feel as bad as the bronchitis did all last summer, but it does feel like Hell is inside my chest. I woke up around 11pm, and had slept about 12 hours, which is great except that I was supposed to work from 2-10pm tonight. Even without the cold I wouldnt have been able to make it in anyway, I had only stopped drinking at 10 am and the mushrooms didnt wear off until about 5pm. Yeah yeah, I know... what can ya do?

So last night while in the throws of drunken trippyness I manage to get outside on Seaton's smoking deck and cave in on myself. I hadn't reacted to the email from Lon at all. When I opened that shit, read it once, copied and pasted it to the diary, reread it, then I totally forgot that shit as in "whatthefuckever I aint got time to deal right now, the last five minutes of my life did not happen". And that was a week ago I guess, whenever it was. So the stars are spinning and it's very cold out but Im a furnace... the fever may have helped too but anyway, the coldness was very lonely, if you get what I mean. And I start thinking (bad idea) and I was out there crying for a good 20 minutes. I could hear Seaton at the door "no, you cant go out there and smoke yet" and then he thought I'd had enough introspection and brought me to the side of the house and talked to me for a long time. Very beautiful.

And a party just walked in the door so I gotta go. yeah yeah, I know, what can ya do?


Always remember to quit while you're ahead.

last :: next
About Me
I am a bipolar genius, child abuse & addiction survivor, who is now a single mother who works 70 hours a week and has had gastric-bypass weight loss surgery a year ago. Wish me luck cuz I need it!!!

Examples of My Insanity
Dead On Mental Health Quiz
Tuna Noodle Casserole Story
Explaining Myselves
Biting Off Redneck's Finger
Got So Crazy Scratched Til I Bled
How I Found Nirvana
Leaving Lon After 7 Years
Bad Luck On 3 July 4ths
Random Craziness (FBI Please Disregard)
How I Ended Up A Junky
Almost Getting Raped by a Marine
Typical Weekend in Ohio
How Cobain Saved My Life


How long could we maintain? I wondered. How long until one of us starts raving and jabbering at this boy? What will he think then? This same lonely desert was the last known home of the Manson family; will he make that grim connection when my attorney starts screaming about bats and huge manta rays coming down on the car? If so, well, we'll just have to cut his head off and bury him somewhere, 'cause it goes without saying that we can't turn him loose. He'd report us at once to some kind of outback Nazi law enforcement agency and they'll run us down like dogs. Jesus, did I say that? Or just think it? Was I talking? Did they hear me?


AFTER


WHAT'S MY NAME?!?