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"So I was making conversation with one of the twins the other day" Montrell says to me at the bar last night. "Which one?" I ask, not that it really matters though. "I'm not sure the name but it was the less psycho one... well then again maybe he's the more psycho after all cuz he SEEMS less psycho..." "ah, that'd be Dale." "OK anyway, he was in the resteraunt and we were talking and he asked where you been, and I been in SC and I aint seen you either so I didnt know but I told him most likely working." "Yeah, I do that a lot..." "Well I dont know if he was gonna stop by and see you or what, I gave him your cell # though." He grins and I sing, "I'm a hustla baby, I just want you to know" (which has become a little catch phrase of mine) Trell just laughed and said "Dont worry, he and I talked for a pretty long time, yes, I do know." And I said "awe shit" and he says "Are we ever gonna get to go on a walk?" "Aren't you moving in with somebody soon???" and that ended that. When he mentioned going for a walk, that's what happened with J and not D so maybe he was talking to J. Cmon people, J has earrings, D doesnt, look at the ears. I'm still working on pictures, I want to get more pics in here in general, but more specifically of these two.

The job applying didnt go so well. I talked to Chas, the manager and owner's son and he said that he had been hiring and he has three new people. He says two are iffy though and he didnt really wanna hire them but he had no other applicants so he asked me to fill one out anyway cuz he didnt see one or both of them making it, and I filled it out and he said he'd gimme a call. There are still other places. I really oughtta get a part time job just to keep my ass out of trouble. I gotta start my student loan payments soon, if it's not already in default. I dont even make $800 a month with a fulltime job. Fucken sad. How am I spozed to pay rent, have a car, pay bills and student loan, plus eat and do stuff.... Yeah, I'm gonna start looking for something on the side.

Lon really is in school and I'm glad. It was wrong to assume he was all fucked up still here in rochester, but it was one of those worrying about him and being pessimistic and being in worst case scenerios mode and in always planning for worst case scenerios I sometimes forget that they dont ALWAYS happen, and then I dont know how to react when something good happens. I really wanted him to be doing something positive. He wrote me back and had things to say and seemed OK with the two of us communicating again. It was awful to watch him from afar while getting reports from my brother like "he picks fights with the biggest dudes and laughs when they break his glasses..." and all the other horrible things Prett would say Lon was doing. That was bad enough to hear and not be able to do anything about. But I think it might be even harder to watch him succeed. It's not jealousy, it's just sad that two people so in love cant get their shit stright until a couple years after breaking up. I dont get it. Since when is love not enough? Since when is John Lennon ever wrong? But anyway, I need some friends and this will be very good for me. He said from reading my diary it doesnt seem like Im making that much progress, that it's minimal. And when I read that, I could tell my eyes narrowed and that competitive bug in me began to buzz. Bring it on, Lon. Lance Armstrong, Ken on Jeopardy, Energizer Bunny....

And right now I need to get my ass ready for work, I still got an horu till I have to be there but I wanna stop at the store for more orange juice. I cant fucken find orange peach mango anywhere in this town dammit.

Oh yeah, I been shaving everything regularly now (I fucken hate shaving) and I dont get hives from it any more, but anyway what i wanted to mention is that my legs are fucken hot. After Im sure all the hair is gone and I ahvent missed any spots I still keep shaving cuz it feels good to run the razor over the muscles. Theyre fucken hot. My arms are nice too but they got all that extra skin hanging off, and my legs dont got that cuz of the bike riding. Lance Armstrong baby. Ya'll gotta read his book. Only thing I dont like about Lance is that he looks just fucken like Harlan, even the same smile, and I dont like it because I DO like it, if you know what I mean.

Always remember to quit while you're ahead.

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