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Very fucking shitty last 24 hours. Mom flipping out on me, Prett flipping out on me, ME flipping out on me. I'm hanging on the edge of a cliff by my fingernails, and those that know me know how long those fingernails are. Birthday plans naught, getting Prett, nill.... I'd be lethal if I wasnt this exhausted. I almost set my mom's wardrobe on fire, she's got a closet full of clothes here still... and it almost went into the fire with some leaves yesterday but I was too damn tired, and thought the clothes prolly dont fit her anymore or why else would they still be here. But something's going to happen. Im gonna crack. My dreams were all using with Ken and Geoff, me choking Geoff, me being left, always being left.

Interesting goodness though, thanks to Autopilot, who seems to have inhibited Klondyke, my teddy bear, at my insistance that I can't feel him, and whether at best Autopilot be spirit without flesh, and at worst a figmant of my imagination, I still cant feel him, but I can feel klondyke. And during the dreams, when theyd get ultra-sad the phone would ring. First it was Tabs "I miss you baby, when do you get a day off" and then Heather the one who was flirting with me last week "Coming to karaoke?" then Erin, then Prett, then Brad... it was amazing... "ok ok I do have friends..." and I'd snuggle Klondyke until I fell back asleep. In between the good calls would be my mom though. As you can tell by the entry Im hanging on the edge of sanity right now, Im pretty sure Im asleep even. But Gary's here and his mom's letting him use the van so I can do my shit today, and I may even steal my moms van and go to ohio. And I need to get Gary moving so we can go. Klondyke is coming with me ALL day.

Always remember to quit while you're ahead.

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