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I was lucky enough to catch the best five minutes of American idol last night. The "crunk guy" from New Orleans still has me cracking up. Dude didnt even sing. He did the girl part from ODB though he fucked it all up: "Hey, said hey, baby gimmee some money..." I'm pretty sure that's the guy back in Houston who'd knock on my door at 4am asking for some brillo. "An how much ya gimme fo dis here toasta?" Holy shit.

I am very very sick. I've been scaring myself by reading all these preggo books, and the complications, potential hazzards... freakin myself out. Not that I dount have cause; I got preggo too soon after that MMR vaccine, I've miscarried before, I've had a tubal pregnancy before, I'm abotu to gain back all the weight I've lost the lst coupla years, AND there's an issue with Greg that I havent had verified that could cause damage to the kid as well (more on that when/if verified). If there were a category worse than "high risk pregnancy" I'd be in that category. If this thing comes out healthy it'll be a miracle. And seein it was a miracle I even got preggo in the first place maybe it'll come out OK. I figure if it's retarded I'll name it Timmy. And if it has like 6 arms or an extra eye or something I'll dye it blue and call it Krisna.

I've been getting increasingly sicker since last week. Strep is going around, half of work is out with it and seein no one but me sterilizes the headsets, the germs gotta be all over the store. I cant take NOTHIN for my cold. They say I can use saline spray up my nose, but there's no room up there for any more liquid. There's even a warning label on the cough drops for chrissakes. I thought I had a really bad fever today and my temp was 97. I swear this kid is gonna have a tail and snaggle teeth and its organs on the outside of its skin or some shit.

Work has been sucking majorly lately. I spend half the night in the bathroom either pissing or blowing my nose; my hands are raw from all the washing. I'm so fucking tired I cant get shit done. Everything hurts. Im getting clumsy and I whack my knees on things, whack my boobs on things, whack my head on things. And Im only one month preggo exactly, what the shit. The book I got says all my probs Im having now will go away once the placenta is finished, in two months, but I dont know what problems will take their place. Everyone says the middle months are the easiest, and Im looking forward to them. If these complications during pregnancy are any sign of the complications of rearing the child, then he's gonna be the perfect son of a bitch that Ive always wanted.

Some good news, that cabin I called abotu months ago where the guy wanted $900 down to move in... it's relisted in the paper as $75 a week. Im gonna call on it today. Discover card found me, they were the ones that suggested I sell my blood to pay them their minimum balance, and theyve turned in over to lawyers... anyway I need to get a lawyer today so that they wont garnish my wages. As if... ya know? But Im soon to have to deal with all that bankruptcy shit again. I dont even know who I owe money to.

Horrible weather here, snow is knee deep, the icicles from the roof almost touch the ground. The front tires of the car are mostly bald, and the car is front wheel drive. I cant come to a full stop or I cant get going again. Anyway, I need to get my ass to bed, the cats' jumping on me, trying to snuggle up already.

Always remember to quit while you're ahead.

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