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I've been on self-imposed bed rest all week. Greg had some kind of stomach flu over the weekend, but his only lasted overnight. I first threw up Tuesday afternoon and it hasn't stopped. It's slowed somewhat, Im keeping most of my food down. I think what's happening now is aftershocks, that my tummy is just used to throwing up so by habit that's what is't still doing. I hate being sick like this cuz it puts me in a terrible mood, brings back all the kicking heroin memories. The cat was missing for a while and though he showed up right before I started to TOTAL panic, I was thinking, god, not again with the cat... haven't I lost enough cats? So anyway, it's been bananas and gatorade. I tried the steak treatment, that was a huge disaster. When I walked outta rehab it was right as my mom was going out to dinner so I went along and had prime rib. It ended all of my detox nightmares. I thought steak would do the same again, but no, not this time. Let's just say that when puke hits the mirror it's just like shit hitting the fan... and it woulda been easier for me to drill a drainage hole in the bathroom floor and hose the bitch out than it was to scour barely digested meat and potatoes out of every mother fucking crevice in the whole fucken room. Top of the door jam, what the fuck?

I had a dentist appointment on Tuesday, right before I got sick. I thought maybe the tool he used wasnt clean, but I dont think any sickness would take hold that fast. Anyway the dentist was calling out all my cavities and almost cavities and broken teeth and broken filings and it's pretty much SOMETHING on every damn tooth. It's all minor stuff, and he said it's a little worse than usual but fairly common for preggos. I told him I havent been to a dentist since 95 and he said "Well knowing that then your teeth are in wonderful condition!" I do brush twice a day (and after every time I vomit) and except for still having the tongue ring, do my best to take care of them.

I called off work wednesday afternoon due to the throwing up. Thursday I had a doctor appointment right in the morning. It's the first time Im meeting the lady who'll be delivering the baby, she's finally back from maternity leave herself. I told her about my sickness, and she gave me something for it that she said would be safe to take while preggo. I had a WIC nutrition appointment on Friday and though they were different scales (they were both still triple beam scales) I lost 12 pounds between last friday afternoon and yesterday morning. That's how much Ive been sick. I've lost 17 pounds the entire month, so really 5 pounds not due to the sickness. I gained 35 the first month I knew I was preggers, then about 5 for a couple months, and now Im losing. The doc was nervous abotu my weight but Im doing everything I can, eating fruit for snacks, not eating out at all, maybe not excercising like I should but working so much probably covers that.... She says Im at risk for having a big baby, I already can tell it's a big baby... I can feel it... Im 5 mos pregnant and am feeling things my book says come in the 7th month. Every time they measure me they wanna up the due date, I joke and tell em if they keep upping the due date Im gonna have some `splainin to do. It's been moved up a month already. I go in for my second ultra sound this Monday, so Ill know the gender, and also they can do more measuring and whatnot and try to move the EDD closer again. Just make the damn date tomorrow and be done with it!

I had an afternoon of very strange dreams. I was wrapping decorative boxes with the Pope, the dead one ("Im not dead, just retired!" is what he said in the dream). It was me, the Pope and a third translator guy. We were at a folded card table on a very nice lawn with flowers etc, the Pope and I wrapping these boxes. The translator guy was standing at the end of the table. He kinda felt like an overseer, like we were at a conjugle visit. He was in black, maybe a priest type suit, the Pope and I, and the table too, we were all white. The table cloth was very soft. Pope just has on his beanie, no big chef hat on, nothin fancy. The boxes were empty shapes, the papers were foils and colors, very fancy stuff. I was wrapping a heart box with red schnazzy foil, gathered at the top, cut it to make it look like flames, the heart on fire "With you, it's always flames..." Pope says. "So Juan Paolo, what's it gonna be, boy or girl?" Pope says something in Polish, grish, glish gilsh, girsh...? My eyes go big and say "GIRL? no, it's not a girl!" Then the priest guy says "that's not what he said" then the Pope says in english "People like us tend to get what we want." I was happy with that answer and apologized for flipping him off when I made eye contact with him in France "It is almost always right to noy follow authority... almost." We went on wrapping boxes until he said his hands hurt and he had other people to talk to. When I got online I looked up the words for boy, girl and baby in polish and none of them were close to what he said in my dream. As a joke I looked up "demon" and that wasnt close either. Im going to ask my gramma if she knows any polish, though the pole-georgian blood is my grandfather's maybe some words rubbed off on her.

Things are great with Greg here. I give him as much space as I can. Im annoying at best in bed, I havent woken up with the sheet on the bed in the past week. I HAVE TO sleep on the inside, so every time I have to pee (or puke...) I gotta scramble over him. Also I toss all night and that wakes him up sometimes. He got outta bed before noon today and while I was chillin with the Pope he was doing laundry, FOLDED it even, did the dishes and put them away, mopped the floor... for real... I told him he better watch it or I just might stay sick. He says he finally understands how hard it must be for me now that he's around me all the time now he sees how much work I really do in a day all before having to wrestle him off a bar stool into the car out of the car into the house and up into bed, which is what I gotta get to doing shortly here. Rick has been a major pain in the ass this week. Now that his money is nearing more people are loaning him money and he's been drunk a week straight now. Which means he's bringing people home from the bar, they eat all my food and make huge messes, pee all over the bathroom floor, drop cigs on the table setting papers on fire... typical drunk man behavior. I dont wanna buy more food till he's gone, it's like a waiting game. I work tomorrow and sunday but it's the dinner shift so his antics keeping me awake till 5 am wont be too bad, though I wanted to shoot him all week. No kitchen parties tonight dammit. Maybe it'd be different if I could partake, but maybe Im maturing a little bit too.

Always remember to quit while you're ahead.

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