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I think Greg is cheating on me. Last week I came home from work one morning and he wasnt here. I called his cell phone and he said he was at Gail's house. Gail is bar trash from the Farmer's who recently broke up with an abusive boyfriend. She's older, has a daughter old enough to be drinking. Greg said he was there drinking and lending an ear to her problems with the ex. Then Saturday night he calls to tell me that he's at her place again, her grandmother died and she needed someone to talk to. I picked him up there that morning only this time I was invited inside and we talked for an hour before Gail had to be to work, I gave her a ride. The first mornign I came home and he wasnt in bed my eyes glazed over and I immediately tried to remember where Rick packed his shotgun away. I didnt even know if he was with "someone", it was gut instinct "where's the gun...?". When he said he'd been drinking over at Gail's I didnt worry all that much. But it's two times now. And even after the second time I didnt think they'd been fucking, and maybe they havent even fucked yet, but it'll happen. Last night Candice (asian girl I used to work with but she quit) came over and we picked Greg up and went to the Pick together. She's only 19 but we played it cool and she didnt order anything to drink so it was alright with Jamie. Greg didnt sit near me at all, even though the touch screen game was in use he sat over by it. He got a phone call and over the din of the bar I could make out half of what was said, and the other half I could mostly read his lips big smile and laugh when he saw who it was on the screen before he answered "Just sittin at the Pick... No babe, not tonight, Joey's not working... yeah, I think she works tomorrow... yeah, I know... no problem... call you later... see ya!" I siad to Candice "he's cheating on me." Candice yelps "WHAT!?" and I said for her to ask to borrow his phone and check out the recent incoming calls log. She got his phone and then smoothly says to me "Jo come outside with me, I dont know what to say to him!" and when I walked up0 to them Greg said "She calling a boy or something?" so he fell for it. Checked the call log and it was Gail that called him a few minutes before. And then I checked the other call logs for missed calls and outgoing calls and there were calls to and from her. One missed call Sunday night/Monday morning at 4:30 am, and then one back to her about 5pm on Monday. It's not certain, but it's obvious.

And when I get concrete proof (a confession or a witness --I wanna call off from work and spy--) when I know for real... this is what I'd like to do:

I. Cut out his tongue
a)prevent him from screaming from the other things I'll do
b)he'll never be able to lie to another woman again
c)hard to pick up a date with no tongue, hard to taste beer with no tongue, hard to smoke cigarettes with no tongue

II. Cut off his nose
a)he's never getting a date again
b)not able to snort coke to ease his pain and troubles

III. Cut off his hands
a)no drinking beer
b)no more smoking anything
c)no more jerking off (most importantly)

IV. Leave his cock and balls totally intact
a)no way to get a date with ugly face, no tongue and no hands
b)no way to get himself off
c)total isolation and loneliness not being able to communicate with others at all, unless he learns to type or write with feet etc.

I probably wouldnt get life in jail, although this is now proof of premeditation... but then again it's not murder. I could plead my case to a jury and get sympathy from them, pregnant and cancer ridden of course she'd be temporarily insane finding out her man's cheating...

And then Autopilot's just about screaming at me "be a mirror of me, not them..." My walls are mirrors, and I treat others how they treat me, they dont get any real emotion from me at all, it's all their emotion bouncing back at them, if you follow me. But Autopilot says to mirror him, to reflect Autopilot at the world, to not reflect the world back at itself. To stay nice and keep on loving. yeah, right.

Always remember to quit while you're ahead.

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