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For a couple pics of the baby click on Cassidy Raegene

We have a roll developed already but Greg took them to poker with him.

I dont have long to write cuz she's stirring. She looks just like me, doesn't she? Greg's eyes though. Totally healthy, which I cant say about myself. They had to take out the staples due to infection. They packed the hole with guaze. This was the morning I was discharged. The whole time I was saying it didnt feel right and that I felt bloated. The nurses said it was fine, by chance my OB was in the hallway after a delivery and saw my door open and popped in to say hello just as one of the nurses, who seconds earlier had said I was doing fine, was leaving. I asked her to look at the incision and she said "they gotta come out, now, I'll be right back." Getting 18 staples yanked out of an infected wound with no pain meds is NOT fun, by the way. Neither is going for weeks with an open sore almost three inches wide. They are just going to let it heal on its own. Until then they are sending out a home nurse every fucking day to rip out the stuffing and put new shit in there. Yeah real fucken cool. And just like with the pregnancy I'm supposed to be laying down all the time except for bathroom breaks and breast feeding, and Im not able to do that. Im hoping the home health aid will help with dishes and shit like that. Preston and Jamie decided to move back to Ohio. We all told Jamie that we wanted her to stay and for Prett to leave seeing he's being the asshole and the one thats eating all the food (though Jamie does eat too much also). They only moved here cuz they didnt have anywhere else to live but now they do. They just shouldnt have brought so much shit with them cuz now they cant get it back there for a while. Im sure mom and us will have to drive down in the van to take them more shit at some point.

Greg is amazing with the baby. He's fucked up once though, went out to collect his tournament winnings and to show off pictures Friday night. Said he'd be gone at the definite most of two hours. He got back to the hospital at 3:30 am, I was alone with Caz about 5 hours. That was the night my staples really started hurting and the baby is super attached to us where she'll scream if one of us isnt in view. We were both in the middle of a meltdown when the nurse came in for rounds. We had to talk to three different social workers on the morning of discharge... "there's no history of domestic violence... right?" Greg's passcard was shut off cuz he left an expired ID and he had to go through security and they escorted him up to the nursery cuz he was too drunk to be trusted to find it. He strolled in while the nurse was in there with me calming me down. He gets another shot at poker tonight though, I expect him home by 10:30. He's awesome with the kid though, a million times more than anyone expected. He voluntarily asked for paternity papers to sign and had em filled out and witnessed the first day. And Caz prefers him to myself, though Im usually doped up on pain meds and he's gotten ten times more sleep than I have and Im dealing with the wound and the anxiety and trying to figure out how to breastfeed.... He just gets to play with her etc.

I handle the feeding and the diaper changing. Greg retches like a junky around poopie diapers. It's getting better though, soon he'll be able to get diapers. I can barely keep up with the feedings. She's eaten for a total of four hours today, and it's only 8pm! Not that I dont have enough milk. They could totally use me down south right now. I could make hella cash down there opening a milkstand. I dont even know how big my boobs are. I bust (haha get it?) out of a DD. This is the nicest my boobs have ever looked. In general I look alright (except for the pouch of excess fluid that needs to be drained from my abdomen). My skin cleared up, my color looks nice and pale, everything looks slimmer. I didnt lose much giving birth. The baby was 9 pounds 8 ounces and Greg says there was a BUCKET of blood and fluids but I only lost 6 pounds?? OB says it's water retension mostly from the infection. Lovely. Caz has her first doc appt in the morning and then I have to go in and get drained and repacked. I guess the draining should just be a one time thing. I dont know what the hell's going on, everything in the baby books is about natural birth. I need to do more net research on wound care too. I gotta eat some diner before she wakes up and wants hers first.... A couple funny things before I go: I squirted myself in the eye with my milk this morning, those things are dangerous. Also you know how in the movies and funny home video shows they show boys peeing all over the place when theyre being changed? Girls do it too....

Always remember to quit while you're ahead.

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