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I'm not sure what happened to me Sunday night.

FACTS:
little memory of what happened that night, confusion all next day, still disoriented two days later
bruising on neck, collar bone, ribs and shoulders, also minor, random bruising on arms
inside of top lip tore up
I woke up in a strange house not remembering how I got there, where I was, who I was with etc
my car was found half mile away with keys locked inside

WHAT I REMEMBER:
being at karaoke, got there around 10, was kinda stoned and had 4 jack n cokes, (Ruby pours STRONG), flirting with Tom C., some guy he was talking to was flirting with me and getting between Tom and I. During one song I sang I left my drink on the bar next to Tom, after the song was over Tom was in the bathroom and the other guy was next to my drink, ran into guys from the Pick when they showed right before midnight, met their friend Missy (alright hippie chick), smoked more weed with them around midnight (no weed after that), separate cars back to Missy's for after hours, me and David went to Timmy Ho's first, Tom C. met us there but didnt want to drink anymore, said he'd see me Wednesday, over to Missy's about 1 am, drank a beer (best ice), flirting then making out with David, memories are hit n miss after that... I remember being outside but not being cold, I remember my hand being held as I almost fell down in a parking lot and being yanked upright, I remember having to navigate stairs down and then up, dirt floor, hidden closet with plants growing, me trying to undo my bra, flashes of having sex and david asking "am I hurting you, does this hurt, should I stop" etc, and me saying no, it doesnt hurt, etc, then waking up hearing an older female voice calling for David, the door to the room I was in opening, bright light, hearing her say "oh what the fuck" then telling someone they'd have to get on the bus themselves and that mommy was already too late for work, I didn't know where I was for a long time, my mom called asking where I was and bitching at me, I told her my keys were locked in my car and I was waiting for AAA, I got dressed and then a young (7 or 8?) girl came in, fucken adorable, the whole house was barely nicer than a crack house and this perfect little girl in a pretty pink dress is asking me where her father is, the whole thing was very Twin Peaks. I talked to her, we looked through the house for her dad, she said "sometimes he hides when he sleeps" (no idea... but while looking through the house I found mad packages of Seroquel, though it's usually treatment for schizzophrenia they're starting to use it for other things) I got her books ready for school, found her some (hopefully clean) socks and shoes and walked her to the bus stop and waited on the bus with her, weird looks from other parents there... went back in the house, looked around for any of my belongings (my gansta rap comp cd was there), left my number someplace where he'd find it and then went to look for my car, remembered the apartment complex I was in (at least I "came to" someplace recognizable...) and found my car there
with the keys locked inside, called my mom and asked her to bring the spare key over. When I got home I looked in the mirror and saw how fucked up I looked.

WHAT I THINK HAPPENED
I'm pretty sure I was drugged while at karaoke. I think I would've had sex with David anyway, just cuz I don't kiss unless I mean business... at some point we walked over to his house from Missy's, me stopping to get the gangsta cd out of my car and locking in the keys in the process. I don't know if I was conscious during sex, I assume yes because he was talking to me, I dont see a guy rousing someone awake to ask them if they're being too rough, nor do I see a guy that would have sex with a passed out girl caring enough to rouse and ask her if he's being too rough... David's called me since then, I was asleep when he called and also hadn't had many memories straightened out yet so I kept it brief, but would a guy that drugged and date raped someone call them the next day, MAYBE to feign innocence but this guy isn't that smart.

WHAT I STILL DON'T KNOW
who drugged me, how much and with what
where was David in the morning
how I got so fucked up physically
how I knew my keys were locked in the car

MY CONCLUSION
someone (probably the creepy guy that was hitting on me) at karaoke drugged my drink (it happens kinda often there), I left with others before anything kicked in, left of my own will to walk over (with help) for sex @ David's house, drug kicking in by that time, David "reaped the benefits" of whatever I was on. Sex with me is most always rough (unless it's crappy), and I wasn't aware enough to know limits, wasn't feeling how rough it was while it was happening....

I want to talk to David to ask where he was that morning, and also to see how he acts around me. Autopilot says I was an active participant and that D had nothing to do with it. Most likely that's true. Anyway I sang really well that night, I fucken nailed "Alone" by Heart, interesting bit: (to refresh memories, Tom C. is the cute shy guy, not too much of a drinker, doesn't ever come with girls, no gf or wife etc, quiet till he gets on stage then goes fucken ape shit, I find it very sexy and am determined to find out if he's the same way in bed...) Tom left his spot at the bar to come over and stand right under the word promptor so that I was pretty much singing the song to him "till then, I'll always get by on my own, I never really cared until I met you, and it still chills me to the bone, how do I get you alone..." and he grinned big at that part. anyway I fucken nailed that shit. I'll update on everything when I know more. First thing Pig Fucker asked me was if he needed to call up the cousins "Even Ronnie will figure out a way to kick that guy's ass!" (Ronnie's our wheel chair cousin). Greg's supposed to be taking Cass overnight wednesday so I'll be at karaoke then, I want to see if that other guy is there. I also want to run into D again, if at least to clean his damn house and make it decent for that little girl.

Always remember to quit while you're ahead.

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