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Here's a pic from Halloween. It seems the more weight I lose, the more Jewish I look. Well, my nose anyway. It's odd how traits resurface in families. We haven't been Jewish since the 1800's.

I loved this wig. I left it over at Johnny and Nips's house after the party. I dont know why I didnt think to perm my hair when it was dyed black. If I ever redye my hair I'm gonna fro it out and wear it in afropuffs all the time. Maybe I'll do it blue or some shit this time. Anyway, I sort of woke up in a better mood. Well I woke up at 4:30 AM and the fucken doors were wide open again, who or what the fuck keeps coming into my house at night and leaving the doors open has got to stop. I thought maybe it was Greg coming home but no, I guess it wasn't anybody. I thought I locked the doors though. whatever. I'm skipping dog training classes tonight to catch up on homework and also because Greg said some shit about being at his sister's to hang out with Cassidy and then catching a ride home with us. So if I dont go then he cant come. I called Geoff yesterday to talk to him about what I should say to Greg. I really dont want him back but Im afraid that if he says he wants to come back then I'll let him come back. Cassidy's already traumatized and it's only been two days. I figure Geoff's been on the receiving end of this talk more than once so he would know what I should say and also what would make it easier for Greg to hear too. I didn't notice it, well it wasnt a pattern until this time but so far Greg shows up when I have money and leaves when I dont. Even when we first started hanging out together. And last time we broke up he told me not to go out on any dates and then THAT NIGHT he fucked his ex and tried to move back in with her.... I talked to him yesterday and he didnt say anything about it being my birthday. nor have I ever gotten presents or birthday wishes from him. This is the kind of shit I need to remember tonight when I talk to him. I'm just so fucking depressed and dont think I should be alone right now, especially alone with a 14 month old.... And I'm out of weed, smoked the last of it last night. Which btw was a very good idea. I caught a really funny Family Guy last night and actually managed a laugh or two in the last half hour of my birthday. I dont think the phone is totally fucked yet, Prett says within a week to a month the circuits will rust and fall apart, so Ive got that to look forward to. I dont know what the fuck's going on but digging isn't getting me out of this hole, I need a new game plan.

Always remember to quit while you're ahead.

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