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yeah the title of the entry is a good indication of how I'm, doin right now.

I had court today. No, u know how paranoid, nervous and upset (to say the least) that goin to court makes me. Well anyway all charges were dropped! You have no idea how much this means to me.. First of all, I have CLOSURE, you know what I mean, I never have to see them again, or think about them again, as soon as Im done brainwashing myself it'll be like the summer never fucken happened. Except for Cassidy asking about Baby Emma, but she's soon to forget them Im sure. She's only 2 how can she be remembering this shit anyway, and it's not like she went to court with me or anything, how is she knowin why I was goin to court... ya know, why is she askin about Baby Emma, on the one day out of 2 mos that Ive seen her, ya know? So yeah anyway my 2003 monte carlo super sport now has a baby on board sign on it, how ghetto in the first place and secondly he didnt even want Cass's carseat even staying in the car let alone putting up advertising that there was a car seat inside the $35K sports car to begin with. OK did I even mention that they dropped the charges against me, on the condition that I agreed that they let Scott off of all charges also, which is bullshit but whatever. The DA said he wandt just gonna procecute one of us, which is shitty cuz it was an obvious deomestic violence girl getting her ass kicked by a boy etc, but it was the only way to avoid being procecuted for hurting him in self-defense, and really as I put it to my assistant public pertender, HE hurt HIMSELF kickin MY ass, yet I get charged for that shit, Anyway the two of them looked like SHIT, like they been doin coke every day all day since the day that I moved out. yOU ALL KNOW ME, i AM ONE OF THE MOST HOnest people you'll ever meet so Ill be straight with you, I am jealous, fucking mother fucken jealous, hell yeah I wanna be smokin coke and fuckin sluts all fucken day... and thats what they been doin without me since then, u know... but I came to the conclusion today, and well really I always been thinkin it, that I actually miss Katelyn more than I do Scott. Which kinda proves where my heart lies in the men vs women bisexual thing goin i=on inside me. BUT ANYWAY I had to agree not to sue him for damages, which did the same for me.... They are moving to PA, like he and I decided to do before we started fucken 18 year old sluts... can you tell Im still bitter? WHY am I still bitter, why does it still hurt? EGO EGO EGO!!!

Ive spent a hell of a lotta time with Jerico recently. Hank left me a hellish amount of "emergency" voicemails last night and by the time I noticed them and returned them today he was only out of weed, but to him it was an emergency, Anyway all my connects can find but you need to drive, and both Hank and I have no transportation, he's buying a minivan tomorrow but anyway he;s out tonight... so me n Jer ahve been together nonstop all weekend just about and then I send him a msg askin him to hook up my masseuse, of whom he's totally jealous ("you mean this old perv's seeen you naked???" and Im thinkin but not sayin "and then some!") ANYWAY I got a bunch of whiskey to still drink. OH SHIT Heather's talking shit abotu how busy it'll be by 5am, and that I shouldnt drink the rest of my drink. She just threw me a bottle of 357 speed pills that we normally selll to truck drivers and I said "Well, these'll come in handy at 5:45 when the customers start coming in... otherwise if I take em now I;ll just be manically drunk!" and I still got 1/4 a bottle of whisley AND 1/2 a drink that I made with Hank's Chivas Regal that Kevin didnt have the heart to dump down the drain from a couple-few days ago... anyway you know...

I just would like to thank the academy, and god... for you know, not sending me to jail and all that... and Um Num Si Vai To Mi Kai to all my enemies, they know who they are cuz they smiled at me longingly this afternoon.

Always remember to quit while you're ahead.

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