Defining Moments of My Life
"who is this guy JoBear, he's the one we're REALLY after"

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"who is this guy JoBear, he's the one we're REALLY after"
07.22.10 2:36 p.m.

So Will's looking at five years although there could be more charges coming and he deserves more time than five years for all the bad things he's done and got away with. Now I've done some bad things too, but nothing in my past remotely compares to Will's wicked ways. This most recent crime spree though, I am not so free from guilt. I at least knew most of what he was doing, if not riding shotgun while he was doing it. And above all else, regardless of whether or not I had prior knowledge of his plans or was the complete mastermind behind the deed... I still reaped all the rewards and shared in all the spoils.
SO i don't sleep right yet, been off the junk for 3 weeks (8 mos every day use) completely off everything. The night terrors have subsided, I was waking up screaming every night for the first weeks. I still get the nightmares but those are getting further apart too. I have trouble falling asleep and staying asleep. Still worried that the fuzz is coming for me and any second there's gonna be a heavy knock on the door. Guess it's all part of the game. My probabtion officer is hellbent on proving that I run the seedy underground of canandaigua, and that I'm a master criminal. "What? I'm the student body president of the college, the head peer tutor, note-taker for the handicapped... I'm no criminal!" Only thing that saved my ass is that I had a prescription for vicodin when I'd piss dirty for opiates. Now I'm forced into a rehab program for my "pain pill addiction" (my response: "BITCH I HAVE CANCER!!!!" not to mention the shot kidney, the bone arthritis and osteoporosis...) So I officially have an arch nemesis. Too bad she doesn't know yet that I registered for her class Modern Trends in Probation and that when school starts she can no longer be my PO due to a conflict of interest. Does she REALLY think she can outsmart me?


Always remember to quit while you're ahead.

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About Me
I am a bipolar genius, child abuse & addiction survivor, who is now a single mother who works 70 hours a week and has had gastric-bypass weight loss surgery a year ago. Wish me luck cuz I need it!!!

Examples of My Insanity
Dead On Mental Health Quiz
Tuna Noodle Casserole Story
Explaining Myselves
Biting Off Redneck's Finger
Got So Crazy Scratched Til I Bled
How I Found Nirvana
Leaving Lon After 7 Years
Bad Luck On 3 July 4ths
Random Craziness (FBI Please Disregard)
How I Ended Up A Junky
Almost Getting Raped by a Marine
Typical Weekend in Ohio
How Cobain Saved My Life


How long could we maintain? I wondered. How long until one of us starts raving and jabbering at this boy? What will he think then? This same lonely desert was the last known home of the Manson family; will he make that grim connection when my attorney starts screaming about bats and huge manta rays coming down on the car? If so, well, we'll just have to cut his head off and bury him somewhere, 'cause it goes without saying that we can't turn him loose. He'd report us at once to some kind of outback Nazi law enforcement agency and they'll run us down like dogs. Jesus, did I say that? Or just think it? Was I talking? Did they hear me?


AFTER


WHAT'S MY NAME?!?