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I wanna tell you all about two really weird dreams I've had recently but I have them memorized (as much as I could memorize a dream I guess) so I'll write about the "normal" stuff then get to the dreams.

I guess I didn't make it clear Saturday that the entry was a drunken ramble. I've had a couple comments from people worried that I had started using again. Nice to know you got confidence in me guys. Though yes, I have been hitting the bottle and the bong a little more than usual... and we did some X friday, and the NO2 whip-its uhhh anyway till I get some real medication (you know a mood stabilizer and an anti-depressant) then I'm gonna be looking (actively or subconsciously) for some way to medicate myself. My body knows what's best for it. Now if I was able to be stoned, say everyday... but not perpetually, I don't really get baked or burnt out (stoopid) when I smoke a lot. And it does even out my moods, keeps the depression away. Though these are valid reasons I still think I might be searching for an escuse to get stoned (as I sit here TRYING to roll a J on the laptop LOL!)

So Lon and Prett have a decent hook-up for weed. Not just any weed... I'm talking PRIMO KIND NUGGETS... Lon sez the shit looked red it had so many red hairs on it... and in the eighth he got there were NO seeds inside the nugs and the nugs have NO stems. So you get a FULL eighth of WEED instead of paying for the seeds n stems. He got the 1/8 for $40. usually eighths of shit like that are $45 to $50 where they are. I got a feeling I could get $60 an eighth for it down here. Anyway he can get this shit for $2000 a pound. He and Prett got $500 they wanna throw in, and maybe I can get Eric to throw in on it too, $500 a QP is NOT bad at all for this shit. When Lon and I were running QP's from Kentucky to Columbus, that stuff was $225 for good shwag and $275 (I think, god I smoked somuch weed those two months! not to mention all the free coke at the dealer's house... anyway...) for commercial. $500 a QP for prolly the best weed ANYBODY has ever smoked in their life, well anybody I would be selling to, maybe like rappers (Ludacris) and movie stars (Stephen Baldwin) get better weed.... So Lon's checking to see if they'll sell it in QP's and not by the pound, although they could find somebody else to go in on it, (I dont like this idea, the more people in on it, the more people who can talk... not like I'm not broadcasting this to the world or anything anyway so everybody: shhhhh! LOL uh this is for entertainment purposes only, everything in this diary is made up there is no such person as Joey... there is no joey, only Zool!) hey if ya couldn't tell, I'm pretty manic today. It's 4:04, I'm trying to get this joint rolled by 4:20 and Im not sure if I'm gonna make it. Yes it takes me that long to roll a joint. I'm THE WORST joint roller in the world. Eric laughs at me. I told him last night "If shooting up was this complicated I swear I wouldn't have been a junkie." I was such a lazy junkie. I was actually checking out the NA webpage to find some groups near me. I need friends. And something to do....

There's a bunch of Bipolar research going on in Houston. I don't know if it's through the university or what but the center tests drugs for the FDA and are currently testing 5 drugs for Bipolar Disorder. They're all controlled double blind studies. They all recquire some hospitalization in the beginning of the program. It seems like a reasonable way to get free meds. And I'd get paid too, besides the free meds. The drug they think I'd be best for testing is some sort of new anti-psychotic. Guess I could use some of that too... LOL

OK I need to roll this J!

Always remember to quit while you're ahead.

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