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ataraxiandrift: sounds like Jenn isnt doing any better...

esherril: yeah no shit...

ataraxiandrift: all I can think of is "was I like that?"

ataraxiandrift: like when people would try to talk to me about it...

esherril: or try to talk you out of doing something to yourself?

ataraxiandrift: I cant remember. I dont really think anyone talked to me about the suicide attempts, I never left hints/threats

ataraxiandrift: well Randy would follow me home sometimes to make sure I didn't lay down on the trax again

esherril: hm

ataraxiandrift: but that was AFTER I'd been hit by that train...

esherril: d'oh

ataraxiandrift: I never talked about it beforehand. I think talking about killing yourself in any form is in the "cry for help" category

ataraxiandrift: like how she talks in this entry about only having the diary to keep track of her days etc...

ataraxiandrift: if the diary was for her "research" then it wouldnt be public, she wouldnt write about thinking of killing herself

ataraxiandrift: she wouldnt be leaving the warnings

esherril: hm, maybe

esherril: yeah it does seem like she wants to be saved... but she has made a somewhat serious attempt before which is what worries me

ataraxiandrift: yeah

ataraxiandrift: but aside from a padded cell, you cant cant force someone to live...

esherril: no shite

ataraxiandrift: I dont understand why she wants to inflict on others what denny inflicted on her

ataraxiandrift: that would be like me going out there and molesting kids

ataraxiandrift: thinking that would help me get over it happening to me

esherril: yeah no shite, although that is a very common occurrence, most child abusers/molestors have been abused/molested as children, etc. thats the cycle of violence

ataraxiandrift: well yeah, it's the peoples' choice though, they aren't forced to do it. there's personal choice, a decision was made... it's a matter of showing responsibility for yourself, to break such cycles, improve society... leave it better than you found it.... instead of being a tool for pain and suffering.

Always remember to quit while you're ahead.

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