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Well I had either 9 or 11 darvocets last night. I totally missed the shadow people and went straight to La-La Land. I watched ALL THREE Lord of the Rings consecutively but I only remember like the first third of the Two Towers.... I don't even remember starting up the third one but it was out of the case and in the play station. I think they may have been fucked up copies, my mom bought them when she was in singapore for her job and they're bootleg copies. The words didn't match their mouths, or else the words would speed up and they'd sound like chipmunks and the action would feel like slow motion. Also sometimes the movie would speed up and the words wouldn't. I don't think it was the pills cuz they wouldn't have kicked in by that time. I took 3 for starters then 2 every 20 minutes until I forgot to take more (which is where the cut off point is) that was somewhere towards the end of the first movie I think, hence the 9 or 11.... I don't know why I do these things to myself. I guess it's better than doing mean things to other people. Maybe that's why I treat myself like shit, cuz there's no one else around to mistreat. Oh I need to find a nice codependant boy again so I can push him around and suck the life out of him like all the rest. Dandy of a mood I'm in today. I'm trying to remember why I came back here.... OK, I took gramma to see Shrek 2 today. She asked if I wanted to spend the night. Maybe I should have. But if I'm gonna be bored and moody and lonly, I'd rather be alone. Oh god, there's a graduation party in the adjoining backyard and they're playing ABBA, please, for the love of allah someone take me hostage and cut my head off with a dull, rusty hacksaw! You don't know how serious I am.

Always remember to quit while you're ahead.

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