Defining Moments of My Life
court out of session

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court out of session
07.22.04 10:14 p.m.

Well his court hearing went well today, too well in fact. Yeah I guess I should be happy for him that his wife says she misses him and that she says she's off crack and is going to NA meetings and church etc etc etc.... He kept talking and talking about it all. My head was all garbeled up with the depression bout (Wednesday night to Thursday morning worst time of the week) so I wasnt thinking clearly. OK The shower just went off so I should stop talking about him, huh? Anyway he picked up on my mood, the shut down, "You just turned into a machine." "I don't want to feel what I'm feeling now..." "Why, what are you feeling now?" "Scared, frustrated, like time is running out." "I didn't say I wanted to get back with her..." But he does, why wouldn't he. He says he loves her still and that's the mother of his son... ya know, I'm not fucking stupid. And he's gone back to her a thousand times before, AND he's confinced himself that HE was the problem and it had nothing to do with her smockin crack and fucking pimps etc.... anyway I gotta go. We talked it out some, things are beautiful again, I'll cherish these times while I got em.


Always remember to quit while you're ahead.

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About Me
I am a bipolar genius, child abuse & addiction survivor, who is now a single mother who works 70 hours a week and has had gastric-bypass weight loss surgery a year ago. Wish me luck cuz I need it!!!

Examples of My Insanity
Dead On Mental Health Quiz
Tuna Noodle Casserole Story
Explaining Myselves
Biting Off Redneck's Finger
Got So Crazy Scratched Til I Bled
How I Found Nirvana
Leaving Lon After 7 Years
Bad Luck On 3 July 4ths
Random Craziness (FBI Please Disregard)
How I Ended Up A Junky
Almost Getting Raped by a Marine
Typical Weekend in Ohio
How Cobain Saved My Life


How long could we maintain? I wondered. How long until one of us starts raving and jabbering at this boy? What will he think then? This same lonely desert was the last known home of the Manson family; will he make that grim connection when my attorney starts screaming about bats and huge manta rays coming down on the car? If so, well, we'll just have to cut his head off and bury him somewhere, 'cause it goes without saying that we can't turn him loose. He'd report us at once to some kind of outback Nazi law enforcement agency and they'll run us down like dogs. Jesus, did I say that? Or just think it? Was I talking? Did they hear me?


AFTER


WHAT'S MY NAME?!?