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Well his court hearing went well today, too well in fact. Yeah I guess I should be happy for him that his wife says she misses him and that she says she's off crack and is going to NA meetings and church etc etc etc.... He kept talking and talking about it all. My head was all garbeled up with the depression bout (Wednesday night to Thursday morning worst time of the week) so I wasnt thinking clearly. OK The shower just went off so I should stop talking about him, huh? Anyway he picked up on my mood, the shut down, "You just turned into a machine." "I don't want to feel what I'm feeling now..." "Why, what are you feeling now?" "Scared, frustrated, like time is running out." "I didn't say I wanted to get back with her..." But he does, why wouldn't he. He says he loves her still and that's the mother of his son... ya know, I'm not fucking stupid. And he's gone back to her a thousand times before, AND he's confinced himself that HE was the problem and it had nothing to do with her smockin crack and fucking pimps etc.... anyway I gotta go. We talked it out some, things are beautiful again, I'll cherish these times while I got em.

Always remember to quit while you're ahead.

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