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FINALLY a day off where I don't have to do shit. Course I got no money and no ride so it really doesn't fucking matter, I'll be sitting around the house, dicking around online for as long as Rick stays asleep and isn't bitching about me taking up the phone line.

Karaoke last night. I sang Magic Man by Heart, didn't do too badly except I totally wasn't ready to sing, had JUST got a water and was still at the bar when he called my name and then had to sing while at the bar, walking back to the stage, handing Erin his drink, taking off sweater etc. Once I got situated I rocked out. Not enough people there to feed off their energy so I didn't get hyped up enough but I did a fairly good job, not the best I coulda done but better than anyone Ive ever heard try that song. And he STILL hasn't gotten China Girl for me, which I guess is a good thing, cuz I always seem to get in trouble when I sing that song. It's the tongue ring, I swear. Anyway back to the crowed, at least those present hooted and were encouraging. I did Dream On (Aerosmith) for my second song, my voice was nearly lost by then cuz of all the manic running around "WOOH!"ing and breaking into random lyrics, singing along to other people's karaoke songs cuz they suck and I need to sing it good in order to endure their cratastic version, but anyway raspy Cobain-voice aside, I still hit the high "Dream on"s at the end of the song. I was extremely hyper all night, fitting my pattern of manic wednesdays and depressive sundays to a T. It ended on a good note too, "sneaking" into the waterpark cuz we know people, and fucking around on the paddleboats and playing hide n seek half the night. The guy who worked there couldnt figure out how to get the heated features to work though he did figure out how to get the waterslides turned on, but no use if they're not heated... it's been over 80 degrees maybe 5 days this summer, I dont think I'm swimming anywhere unheated, Houston spoiled me in that aspect. I'm not used to swimming in water that could give you a heart attack when you jump in anymore. It was much fun nonetheless, as is ANY form of breaking and entering I suppose, but this more fun cuz it was B&E at an amusement park.

The day didnt start out too nice though. Work was crazy, three dude's above the district manager's head was coming into the store and they didnt tell me until I wanted to leave and was asked to stay and clean all the crap that gets overlooked. Gary had already clocked out. After working that many days straight, and my last day off being the Warped fest, which wasn't a rest at all, I was mother fucking tired. Gary came over to my house and we smoked out and crashed. Around 11am my mom comes home, she'd taken the day off to do a major cleaning of the house, (which consisted of her doing the dishes and wiping off the kitchen counters...) and she comes in all psycho, threw a carry-on suitcase on my head, while I'm sleeping on the floor cuz it was too motherfucking hot on the third floor and I slept on the floor in the room with the AC, so she slams this luggage on my head and THEN kicks me in the ribs and is all "Get the fuck up you lazy bitch, I'm not renting rooms out here ya know, there's no such thing as a family discount! I want your room spotless..." and it all went to Momzilla mode with me hearing "Mahhhwahhrrr!" instead of what she was really saying and I swear if my eyes weren't full of crusties I woulda been able to see the tiny Japanese people running for their lives from the terrible mom-monster (Hey this is what I have to do in order to keep my temper and not kill people). I think I told her to shut the fuck up or somethign similar, got kicked again and she left. What the fuck bitch I JUST got off work... I dont fucken wake you up at 3 am for dumb shit. Like the realtor, which they havent even signed with one yet, is coming over RIGHT NOW and my room has to be spotless RIGHT NOW, when in actuality after cleaning it yesterday night when I woke up at 7pm it's already halfway ruined again with animal hair and dirty clothes and cd's and whatnots. Dumb bitch. I'm going to enjoy stabbing her one day.

I learned something I REALLY didn't need to know last night. To remind everyone Erin is Rick's son. Rick being my mom's ex-fiance, Erin being my ex-almost step brother. So Erin broke up with his live in gf last week and all summer theyve been having problems. She doesnt like his drinking, smoking lifestyle but he says it's the fighting that has caused him to party more. The real problem is that he's been wanting to settle down, have kids and shit and wants it to be with her, and she's not sure if she wants to, and he's not sure that she wants to either and wants her to be 100% sure she wants to get married. So that's their problem which has nothing to do with the unwanted info I got last night but I'm getting to it. So in talking to him about all this, and helping him out with my own experience (he asked about Lon, why we never married and had kids...other sad shit... anyway). So Erin is talking abotu hwo much he loves this girl, and he really is a great guy and if her only problem is that he smokes too much weed then she needs to date some of my losers or some really assholey men so she'd know what a catch she has. I think that was one problem with my relationship with Lon, I was too naive, didnt know how good I had it or how good I could have made it but again I dont wanna talk about this. So I say thsi to Erin, that if that's her only problem maybe she needs time to date a couple assholes and come running back to him. He says no, there's one other problem she has with me, and there's nothing I can do to change it. So I'm all like, don't say that, it may take time but you can change yourself, and he was all grinning and was like "No... it's um, well... she hasn't fucked me in 6 and a half months... she says it's too big" and then goes into EXTREME detail about how big and ways he tries to not put it all in and shit... like I need to know my sorta step bro has a 10-11 inch dick, ok? For real, I didn't need to know that. So their relationship problems are that he smokes too much weed, spends his free time playing video games and skateboarding, and that his dick is way too big. For real! THOSE AREN'T PROBLEMS YOU STUPID BITCH!! That's exactly what I WANT in a man. For christ sakes! It makes me want to bang my head against the wall! Makes me wish he wasn't my step bro, lol. Christ, I need to get laid, it's been all of a month almost.... I'm to the point where I'm organizing a To Do list. The other Donahue twin, Dan the tree man, maybe the Lane Staley dude, Danyo of course but he's far away.... Though I dig Dan too much and should cross him off my list, feelings, who needs em? It's not like I'll ever get a chance to mack anyone on the to do list, ever get the time & opportunity to work my tricks. This not working a set schedule thing kinda sucks.

I'm still kinda sick, though it could be still from Warped, the dust and too much smoking. I'm pretty sure if I die of disease and not something violent like suicide or suicide bombing or in battle with my sword in my hand etc, that I'm gonna die of something lung related, bronchitis, consumption, shit like that. Bad lungs, my body doesnt want to be breathing. But right now they're getting less phlegm filled, coughing and spitting like a cowboy has helped. I need to find something to do with my second day off. I don't have enough $$ for smoke and no ride to go over to Gary's place to actually be with people and not the ones and zeros of my computer screen. I already had a mental breakdown listening to a Moby song (Extreme Ways) earlier this morning, it'a borderline day and I need to find something to do. I'm tempted to cash in the lotto tix I stole from mom and walk up to the liquor store for a small bottle of Jack. I hope it's not one of THOSE days.

Always remember to quit while you're ahead.

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