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I haven�t been in this much pain in a long time. Besides the joints (knees knocking, ankles cracking), my stomach is acting up too. Stress and too much free coffee and my ulcer�s all like �RAAAHHHRRR!!! I�m back mother fuckers!!!� It�s like a little person running around with knives inside me. Interesting that the �cause� of the ulcer was back at Subway in 94 with all that free Mountain Dew. No more freebies, they�re killing me. (I actually type that as I sip on an ice cap� Joey Joey Joey get a grip!). My toes are also killing me. I�ve never hurt on the sides of my big toes before, to look on the bright side at least it�s a new form of pain and not boring old pain, at least the pain isn�t dull. How punny. I seriously have blisters on top of blisters. One from two nights ago that�s an oval going longways left to right, and one from last night going longways top to bottom so that they intersect. But my knees, those are the worst, of course. The noise they�ve been making reminds me of the sound of brakes needing serious work, like the metal on metal grinding sound. I can�t take any more pain pills though, they�re killing me too. I�m fairly certain that I�m STILL withdrawing off of them, sneezing and nose running and heat flashes and nausea etc. I need to get back into the whole Medicine Room thing again. I could mix it up with my yoga, that shit helps me feel better too, well AFTER I�m through the workout, not during. I haven�t gotten through my whole routine once since starting to work. Came close yesterday but was too stoned (and sleepy, NY nugg makes me sleeeepeeee). I�d be smoking now and heading to bed if I hadn�t lent my bowl to Gary cuz Keith took all the smoking utensils with him when he moved out (along with the batteries in all the remotes, how lame!). I�m sure Rick�s got something I could smoke out of but then I�d have to wake him up, and probably smoke with him too, fuck that.

Not much to say this morning, just complaining. Got a family thing tonight, great uncle Bill�s birthday at my aunt�s place. Uncle Bill is blind and black, though not racially, his skin is just dark for some reason. I guess his mom, my great-gramma (grampa wischman�s mother), had syphilis or something ho-ass thing like that when he was born and that�s why he�s blind and funky colored. He wasn�t always this dark, he�s grown black over time. He makes weird Cadbury Bunny noises with his mouth that I can imitate, and he does a leg slapping thing when he does the noise. Also, whenever you ask him how something is, say for example, the mashed potatoes, he�ll say �Good enough for the girls I go with�. He says this for everything �How�s the weather in Buffalo Uncle Bill?� �Good enough for the girls I go with�. Makes me wonder what kind of girls he�s gone with, and most likely he�s not lying, that the girls that would �go� with him probably WOULD settle for my aunt�s fucked up lumpy and runny at the same time mashed potatoes or the fucked up snowing and raining at the same time weather in Buffalo. Anyway, I�m sure there will be much insanity around the dinner table tonight, and as usual I�ll sit at the end and watch it like a movie.

Tabs� car broke down in my driveway last night. Now how is it gonna pull some shit like that, getting us around town for cigarettes and milkshakes and get us to the house for me to do laundry and nap before work, and I�m totally ready for work and on time to where I have everything buttoned and buckled and pinned on BEFORE I walk in the door and then the mother fucken car won�t start. I feel really bad for Tabs. I hope it�s nothing major, although she�s been saying since I met her that she really needs to get an oil change. Let�s hope it�s not that. It didn�t sound like it was the engine seizing up, it was more like it wasn�t getting any gas, like the fuel pump blew. Anyway, the car�s still in the driveway and my pipe is still at their place�. Mrrph. I was spozed to meet Tom at his church again today, but for a jam session with him and a couple other guys after the service. We can plug into the church band�s gear too. I like the idea of corrupting their amps and PA but I think I�m going to opt for sleep. The dinner tonight is at 5 and I work again after that so I need to sleep now or never.

Always remember to quit while you're ahead.

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