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This is a very good headline "Film showing Hitler's soft side raises furor" get it, FUROR? ahahaha, those people at MSN News are fun-knee.

So I got off work, back here at 6:30 and the camper lights were on, only Rick in there but he had 4 beers left so I joined him and drank em all. Not exactly the breakfast of champions, not exactly what I should be drinking, not even the brand of beer I want to be drinking at 6:30 in the morning but I figure if anyone's drinking at 6:30 in the morning something like The Beast is fitting afterall.

I look positively PSYCHO in that picture, I love it. I wish that the webcam would work at the same time MSN does (not enough memory I think) because right now Boggy's passed out with his head next to all the empty beer cans, twould be a great pic.

I am so fucking cold that my fingers are shakey and non-cooperative on the keyboard.

Sp yesterday, or whenever that day was... I went to dinner Thursday night with my mom and Adrian and also her best friend and that lady's husband and Adrian's daughter, It was me and a bunch of old people, and they kept buying rounds, and I told them I didnt want anything to begin with but still drank three jack n cokes. The drinks loossened up my mom though and luckily for me the pharmacy is staffed with complete fucking retards and fucked my moms shit up again and kept us there for 45 minutes so we were running so late that I didnt get my errands ran and therefore she let me have the van for the night. It started out good, I visited Dan, then picked my bike up at my grammas, then met the gang for beer pong at the Lumberyard, I smoked with about 10 people when I first got there and then had three more vanfulls of different people later on, seriously I got half the bar high through the course of the night. Then we split up, the rest of the gang going back to Tab's while Gary and I finished beer pong and hung otu a while. Back at Tabs' Dick's cousin Ronnie mentioned wishing he had friends who still liked to get fucken stoooopid ass high... not the thing to say around me and like everyone in the fucken room looks at me like "oh fuck did she hear him??" so I'm all "let's go!" And before too long we'd picked up another dude, Jason I think, he kinda looked like Jay (Jay and Silent Bob) so maybe that's why they call him Jason but anyway we picked him up and headed to Rochacha for a few hunnerd dollars in what they kept calling "Yay!", which is the cool new nickname for coke I suppose. Gary did not want to come, for obvious yet surprising reasons and upon our return he was asleep and refused to follow me back to Shortville to drop the van off to my mom. This had been the plan the whole time so I was very fucken pissed off. Yeah I was otu doin shit I ought not be doin but that's no reason for him to refuse to drive, he was just being lazy as usual. And the fact that I'd smoked him up four times and bought him a beer earlier that night AND said he could stay here at the house (even though I'd catch all hell from Rick for letting him) really was the problem, that you do shit for him (and the rest of the people I've met thusfar here in NY are no better but Gary's the worst) and when you ask a favor from him it's "I dont work on Sundays, it's in the bible" or "I'm not driving you around when you got coke" or "I'm too fucking stupid having not having finished high school and too fucking lazy having not grown up yet and not learning the meaning of responsiblity even though I have a kid, which is the reason the baby momma stole him, moved to kentucky and tried to list another man as the birth father on the school enrollment papers" and anyway I fucken blew up, my horns were definitely starting to show. No one got hurt and nothing got broken or set on fire but my horns were definitely starting to show. Dick, who was still up doing lines, which is pretty much what they do all night long every night, came downstairs to yell at me, saying quote "I aint goin back to jail for you or anybody and you're gonna bring the po-pos round with all your bitching so please, Im askin you nicely to shut the fuck up" he went on to talk about all these horrible problems in his life (yeah I know its so rough being a healthy good looking white male making $12 an hour and having a big dick) I told him to go back upstairs and do some more lines to erase all his problems. Then Gary started talkin shit about me talkin shit to Dick, I started talkin shit to Gary and ended up leaving, slamming the door. Then I remembered my backpack was in the apartment so I went in to grab that and Dick was all "I'm gonna have to ask you to leave, you're slamming shit and I dont want the cops coming" and I said "You dont mind so much when youre the one putting bottles through the walls... and you dont seem that worried about the cops busting you while scoring your coke so what the fuck..." I was throwing the using in his face because I hadnt gotten my cut of the shit yet, we were going to wait for Gary to drop us all off at Jason's, though the two guys were doing lines in the van the whole way back from the city (saying they didnt want me fucked up driving, real reason is that he needed to step all over the fucken shit before selling me any) so I ask Jason to bust me out a bag and he says "nah, never mind, we're straight" and I said "oh we are so not fucking straight" and was on my way out and Dick says not to slam the door, so of course I slam it, get to the van and make it halfway out of the parking lot before I realize that I'm getting majorly fucking screwed and not in a good Harlan/Donahue twin kind of way, oh hell no.... driving way out to bumfuck to pick that douchbag up then way out to north of the city to get the shit then way back down here... and not getting any gas money or any shit AND smoking them up the whole goddamned way.... So I go back in the apartment one more time and tell them I'll fucken drive out to bumfuck (where J's house is) and he says he'll sell me some if I do. Ronnie was pretty cool the whole time, and I was diggin him when I first met him at the bonfire at his place last weekend, I understand his not wanting to get involved knowing I was in the right being pissed off yet Dick's his cousin so what can he say, and the other dude is his coke man so he's not gonna piss off his dealer either. We get to his place and I buy a gram for $50, which was mostly sweet-n-low or baby formula or whatever, my fucken gums didnt even tingle let alone go numb... then Ronnie was acting all weird, he'd been flirting all night, for starters: "It's hard to piss in public when you got a huge dick like I do... guys with tiny dicks, they can just whip em out and no one can see..." then more blatant comments after that one ("I got a girlfriend but she sucks in bed, I bet you dont") and though I did find him attractive (until he opened his mouth) he wasn't up to my standards at all, which are super high after all that sin with the twin ya know.... So anyway the guy started making comments again, and Jason was still in the room and it woulda been pretty much the opposite of how I want my first real threeway to be so I got out of there as soon as I inhaled the gram. My cell phone rang as soon as I got in the van and it was my mom asking where the van was. She wasnt that mad, I told her everyone was too drunk to follow me back so I could drop it off. Nonetheless, she did not leave a set of keys with me, in fact the van is at Adrian's and not my aunt's like it was originally being left at, and now it's harder to steal the van him being home all the time. I got back to Canandaigua around 9 am and slept till 9pm. I didnt know what the hell was going on at work tonight. I felt like shit of course, still do sort of, and wouldnt you believe the timing, woke up to piss sometime in the afternoon and had begun my cycle... yeah real fucken funny, a punishment for something, I'm sure. I figure the whole night went so horrible because if it had been fun then I'd do it again, but now I'm all pissed off at everyone in the apartment (they all called while I was TRYING to sleep asking for rides to various places, Tabs even had the audacity to ask if Id help them MOVE!) seeing none of them would follow me to Shortsville, even before the whole coke thing got started. Ive been wanting to not hang with them and now I have a reason. New rule of life, always hang around people better than you are, befriend people who have what you want (physically & spiritually if you will).... But anyway I need to get my ass moving cuz I just remembered that henry Rollins is doing some spoken word thing at the college this evening and I need to get some sleep before I ride my bike out there, though I still have to figure out how Im getting to work tonight from out that way etc.

Always remember to quit while you're ahead.

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